This Poem was Submitted By: Michael Bird On Date: 2009-03-09 18:38:55 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Fields of dreams You were standing there
Wind blowing your hair
I said take my hand
Let's go for a walk
In the fields of dreams
Come with me
Fall into my arms
When the wild wind blows
You won't forget
The fields of dreams
Forget the day
Laugh our cares away
Dance around the sun
Always having fun
While laying in the fields of dreams
You will soflty sleep
As you lay by my side
And dream of someone
Who will capture your heart
Walking in the fields of dreams
Feel our bodies rise
As we touch the sun
When the wild wind blows
You won't forget
Our walks in the fields of dreams
Forever in the fields of dreams |
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Copyright © March 2009 Michael Bird
Additional Notes:
I was listening to the haunting lyrics of Sting's "In the fields of gold",and this is the result-I hope you like it
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2009-03-28 03:05:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
The title alone stands out and grabs you by the hand.....the words penned allow for feelings to take shape, images to be created and dreams created. Actually I think it would do fine placed to music for the world to share your God given talent. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-03-22 00:26:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Michael,
Your poems are always emotionally charged...you certainly have a strong foundation in terms of keeping your feelings raw and therefore honest and sincere. At one point of time, people could not tell my poems from songs...and its true. While they flowed well and would have sounded good when sung, they somehow lost the steam of a solid compact image filled piece. As you grow poetically, you might want to start trimming your poems, avoid being repetitive and focussing on imagery. I appreciate the emotion of love and admiration in this poem.
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-03-17 15:54:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Michael,
I like it but wished for more. More details, more touch of the mind, spirit, and even body.
She pleased you how? Beauty? Sweetness? Loving-ness?
You just hit on the edge of the wonder.
Tell me more of your field of dreams.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2009-03-10 09:32:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I love that song, it is beautiful and I can see why you would be inspired by it. I like the ideas in your poem and my favorite part is in these lines "Feel our bodies rise
As we touch the sun
When the wild wind blows".
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