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This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-03-27 11:35:45 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Play on Water

Light touch, momentary outward swirl moving lily pad, disconcerted frog hops into plunge All but to become of another's essence delivered as if meant, taken by right fortunes thrown Into a pot untidied by hope that it's not more than a feeding chain uncaring but to be fed.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-04-04 23:26:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70000
Hi James, My last poem critique for the poems submitted this month and there is no better way to end than to have the pleasure of reviewing a piece of yours. 'Play on water' is rich. Looking forward to an active month ahead. Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-03-31 17:27:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Wow.....this is really good JC. The first verse is exceptional - imagery, content and the pull to the reader to keep going. Next verse; true meaning - a bit sad; but we're not just reading about a frog are we? No - it holds more intensity than that. Last verse; completes this poem - leaves me feeling still sad - because our natural desire is to always have hope - and to be "fed" with multiple choices in life to get to where we want to be. Loved this; blessings Deni

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-03-31 16:30:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.42857
Hi James, My take on this poem, is how one person affect others. Like the drop of water in the river, shaking, touching the frog, becoming a bit of his life. The pot being the world hoping that drop [thought] will do more than nothing. Hoping it will not just feed but also nuture a better perspective for all. I love your stuff, many good things can be read into them. Sunshine into your days.... Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2009-03-28 07:57:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 7.00000
I loved your skillfully laid images you have constructed in the brief and effective poem. This is my favorite type of poem, short and makes its point vividly. Such a simple life, cause and effect, no questioning, no mess of the mind. But for us ...well, not so easy an exhistance. Unfortunate I think at times, but then again there I go THINKING again..(smile) I work with mentally challenged children and have often thought and had discussions about the innocence they pocess and how the majority do not have any concept of death. They just simple live their day, one at a time smiling on their way..ahhhhhhhhh, Now wouldn't that be nice!! Thanks for making me "think" at this level this morning..even though sometimes I wish I couldn't.

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