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Weakening World Shifting, drifting Transit trains to anywhere Amidst a world That seems not to care Pick A word up Turn It around A dime is still ten pennies Deep pockets value the dime More than a Cheshire cat Would steal or prefer the First rate, stalemate Shoots the dice and wins Curiously calm and content Until the damn bursts within Falsehood, mothers cry An angry stranger stares Magazines spend fortunes To be stashed under dreamers chairs A hundred dollars in one bill More pleasing than counting them all Sizes change in every range Everyone wants small Happy is vengeance to some Sad is a broken fingernail Strange to see that everyone Is riding life on a different rail. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-05-25 09:04:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lending form to a reflection on meaning was a taboo when I first arrived on TPL. Happily those days are
passed and we've seen more and more creativity replace the rigidity that once ruled. Broken lines reflect
on the world's fragmentation strangely under a yoke supposed to unity. The verse beginning with, "Deep pockets" carries a Joycean stream of consciousness, again, the old newly looked at. Just as the interesting
inversions (of meaning) for inflation found in the lines, "A hundred dollars in one bill/More pleasing than
counting them all" and the lines, "Sizes change in every range/Everyone wants small" remonstrates the self-
adopted of diseases, like bolemia and pathological narcissism; the reader is more able to introspect what
society has otherwise accustomed him/her to. Alarming is the implication of, "Falsehood, mothers cry..." in
the context of the growing number of child murders at the hand of mothers. Weakening World has found the way
to breach the placating constructs society helps us to erect in order to escape the untenable of what is
inevitable.
Poetically.
JCH