This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-05-17 17:54:13 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

Ne'er Paragon _/Revision W/Spelling Corrections

Ne'er Paragon We are not dusk, Mutually pleasured in all things, Or unified with one belief. We are not one moment of sanity, In screams or dreams of, Night that bewilder the mind. We will not give, Everything away in all ways, Nor touch as one man can. We are never clever at the same time, In proportion to the universe with, Levels of consciousness the same. We are not the end, Nor ever the beginning in life, Or saints to be heard; Humbled with any mans words, Vexed dander’s in violin music Screeching to the highest pinnacle. We are;  Very rare, Fairly tolerable melodies of songs that bring life to the world.
Copyright © May 2009 DeniMari Z.

Additional Notes:
Thank you JC; for the noted errors - revised with corrections - (Even my son asked me why I was writing about the devil...lol) God....

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2009-06-02 16:23:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Deni, Nice flight here: Vexed dander’s in violin music Screeching to the highest pinnacle. But I'm not understanding "dander's" as possessive. You just mean the plural of "dander," right? Really splendid poem that goes on my list. See if I can get some "weight." MSS

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2009-05-20 04:19:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Deni, This is such a cleaner, smoother read, no stumbles....and one of your finest...bravo. TC Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-05-19 09:26:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Yes, now it clicks. The reading of a poem colors it like a first impression...sometimes overly. Sometimes obscurity works well, as your use here of "Dusk" but the typos never help. Lora's last poem, Masquerade, is an interesting comparison with yours here. I am delighted they are almost together. In a book on "insights into women", one might place them in the same chapter. It seems in the hysteria that is rapidly becoming shared over the plight of the planet thought antagonized by man, a madness is brewing. In the lovely poems such as this one and Lora's a calm return to more reasoned and sane aspects of our species is won. Muchly appreciated. JCH
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!