This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-06-08 00:15:52 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Regal Anger A bitch that stands in undertow
rigid; unmoved with numbing flow
Casted demons out of mind
pissing off jets that fly – fly way over high
Too far up to go
Yet too far pure to let them know
The crash they’ve in store is commonly known
as arrogance sits in bliss on imaginary thrones
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Copyright © June 2009 DeniMari Z.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-07-07 08:27:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A beautiful way to illustrate a side of power lust (not just attributable to the feminine.)
Either worn of pathological narcissism or rigid self-righteousness, those so driven imagine
not their capacity to do harm.
Just finished viewing a movie, The Virgin Suicides, that illustrates this "nicely".
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-06-29 18:40:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Deni,
Good imagery of a witch-bitch. We all know ones like her!
I think you show your angere pretty well. Too bad for her crash
that will come eventually as we've all been visited.
Like this....
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2009-06-21 14:49:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Great verbiage, right on target for the write. Defiance, outrage, furosity yes, you've got it all, rightous indignation and total disfelief at the arrogance that can bring such things to such ominus conclusions. You go girl, forget being too pure, there is no such thing when it comes to taking a stand and being heard. Brave, no nits from this reader.. it moves right along in intensity and fervor within the subject matter.
TC
L
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-06-21 03:33:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Deni,
I hope they (the arrogant) read this. Arrogance can indeed be a BIG turn-off to anyone who has the misfortune of encountering this trait in others. I like the passion with which this has come off your pen - it reflects your sincere contempt. I also like the image of the 'bitch' that stands in the undertow as she 'pisses' off the jets that fly high above her, with her lessons in humanity. I'm not sure about 'casted'. Is that grammatically correct? 'Casts' sounds better or in this case, 'casting'. Also look closely at this line - 'too pure to let them know' - are you saying that you are too pure to let them know - cause thats how it reads IMO? I would prefer, 'too impure to let them know'. That would also reduce the word' far' which has been repeated twice (something we might want to avoid is being repetitive especially when it is a word as simple and common as 'far'). Your ending is summed up very well and is poetically the strongest part of the poem. A nice punch.
I liked this piece, Deni.
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2009-06-10 13:16:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Yes, the Royal Family represents a lie. That is that they possess "divine right to rule". That's what books like 'da Vinci Code' are supposed to lay groundwork for mass acceptance. Why Elton John, Bill Gates, delight so much in their knighthood. The disgusting stretch of feudalism held out as some romantic ideal.
We have alot to be pissed off about. Regal anger doesn't need a crown, just a pen.
Terry
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2009-06-08 10:09:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
DeniMari,
One can see the dramatic growth in your voice. Wonderful. Keep things going.
MSS
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