This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-06-09 00:34:09 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Darkened Times

The tarnish of electrum   Untouched in centuries Unendured by loathing lust   That sins of blood veil Where we are drawn in   By deepest unholy more Stained in caress by fearful   Than tender ever bore My darkened beauty only   Unwrapped  with piercing Stroke…failed so often    By faith in else. 

Copyright © June 2009 James C. Horak


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2009-07-06 10:08:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH, it is always so difficult for me to polish the tarnish and reach you true meaning. Yet it is also exquisitely worth the read. I understand the truth of finding value in the morality of ones own soul. When young one does not know the lack of wisdom until one is old. When old, the value is much like the “electrum” although you don’t make the connection (maybe you believe it is insignificant)- that the polished electrum, remains what it is; with a value unchanged, yet there is still an “unholy” within ourselves- maybe less worthy. That the Temple, or forgiveness is statutory, if you will, may also lend itself to disillusionment; for there is no evolution of belief and trust for that which is statutory. I have disillusionment with other than the vision I have formulated of life and diety; that said, I try hard to substantiate my soul (the gist I believe) with the evolutionary, or revolutionary. As usual, I probably missed your points; but as usual, it cause me great thought. I find this to be available to the soul.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-06-29 18:01:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
James, What I think this is about is man's search for riches. Never satisfied. A false God if you will. Once gotten afraid to lose it or have it stolen. Faith in richness will be one's undoing. Lots have lost tons being scammed by the powers that be today. It does upset the ones that lose their 401k's, their jobs, their homes, and savings for retirement. I've had money, I've not had money, it was easier to be poor then noone expects a piece of it. Being taught to share has it's disadvantages. Hope I'm on the right track. You always get my gray cells working. You dickens you! Happy day, Dellena Contrails make me sick, probably literally. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-06-14 15:10:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi James, There is a 'dark' undercurrent running through this piece that springs from the darker side of human psyche - the submission to temptation, the denial of light and lack of faith. Who is the darkened beauty you speak of in verse 3? Nice concise piece that is effective in its portrayal of one of the darker facets of life. Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2009-06-11 22:35:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
No, you aren't writing about Gothic Art here, but if there were any kind of syncronicity, I was reading about Gothic Art when this poem was posted; it evoked in me the same feelings as this poem did. I know, so what?! Also, on the bookshelf, short stories by de Maupassant, 'the Dark Side'; so lacking in literary merit I could only bear to read a few. Maybe something was lost in translation? Interestingly though, the intro had this statement, "Of all forms of fiction, the fantastic and macabre allow the subconscious to speak most freely". I don't quite agree with that, but onwards to your poem. In ages where superstition dominated, people experienced less vacariously what movies and books now provide. Caldwell's, "Grandmother and the Priests" still to my mind is one of the best representations of the former. Now people have Anne Rice (who I've never read) and Bram Stoker's, 'Dracula'; and the goth subculture providing vicarious thrill. I only saw bored housewives reading Rice, which for some reason I found reason enough to not head down to Chapter's and join in. But Stoker's 'Dracula' was brilliant and if anything represents the complexity your poem speaks of, this movie did, even gives aspects of why the drawing in could ever be. Not all arises out of moral wasteland, or so the movie shows. But that is not what your poem says. And its definite occult undertones go straight into the modern age...David Lynch in "Eyes Wide Shut" perhaps portrayed the temptation of evil better than almost anyone. In many ways, as deep in meaning as Goethe's, 'Faust'. And Sylvia Plath said (and I paraphrase) "Pray you are not exceptional; the devil is only interested in the exceptional". Her limited husband never wrote one line as meaningful as that one. Those who have no faith take antidepressants, uncomfortably numb. It's faith that can be dangerous, for one must have faith. In something. Hope I've come close to the meaning of your poem. I find the last stanza enigmatic. Who is the speaker? Terry
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2009-06-09 09:02:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
JCH, Nice metaphor from the collector. Nice play of rhyme, no rhyme. I like especially "piercing stroke." Very nice. A quatrain precision reminiscent of Herrick and that crowd. Becoming a bit of a signature voice for you. Very good. MSS
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