This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-06-25 08:14:30 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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It Could Have Rained Yesterday

Noon day sky, unstilled frothing clouds     winds whipping flimsy leaves Even new freshness floating alight it all. Whispers of discontentment numbing    lesser pleasure with longing for touch, Caress with ivory hands upon mine worn. An empty herald with clearing sky, night   drawing borders unfulfilling to expectation Mocking memory with more generous times. Returning home, empty bags filled with    continuum alone, and so many answers Arousing more, but waiting for yesterday.

Copyright © June 2009 James C. Horak


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2009-07-06 19:12:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, I am astonished, in a thought, at the longing and tenderness in this piece. The residual of "waiting for yesterday" and the present perfect tense to mirror past actions in present homily is superb. I am a sucker for melancholy and you have hooked me. When finished each of my readings, I always felt like I do when a song comes on that draws me to a place I cannot remember, but the emotion I remember. All of the “ing”ing was a bit annoying, but your verse countered it well. I’d change them to write a less passive approach. Excellent piece. Seems this month is a theme of reflection.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-07-03 23:39:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
Hi James, A very reflective piece written in the back drop of rainy weather and a clearing sky that fosters regret. I can identify with the feeling and sentiment of this piece. Poetically, very well penned, replete with fine imagery (i especially liked the one about night drawing borders that fall short of expectations) and I also found the use of alliterative sounds quite prominent in this poem. I have always leant to words alliteration as a poetic device. Excellent as always - Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-07-02 09:40:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This is such a sad poem JC. I feel isolation; and haunts from the past where you say "mocking memory", and speak of worn hands. You've written it with less passion; the verbiage chosen is well suited; to show the reader the dim view of this side of life. Each adjective place exactly at the right place - to enforce the meaning in this write; I see nothing wrong with it; each very pronounced and flawless - but I could use some tissues with this one - Blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2009-06-27 10:54:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH, Can't recall any sudden joys of an aural nature upon reading in my recent past similar to that that struck me with "ivory" and "worn." Superb. That third stanza is quite ominous and powerful. I also love the "empty bags filled with / continuum alone." Superb also. I recently made an observation of a felt kinship between your style and that of, say, a poet like Herrick. This just confirms it, though it is "quieter" in its intelligence. Having said all of those nice things, I found this too much of a "mind" poem to be truly memorable. This may be a fault both you and I share - and I think you recently expressed that - something in the nature of being too cerebral. But that is criticism going to intangibles. Can't really fault anything here, and those superb touches reverberate and will last in my impression. MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-06-25 17:43:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, I feel you are almost lonesome. I know from my experience the aloneness of alone. The years have been many for me. And alone isn't so bad as one would expect, but ever so often the memories of happy times, another's touch, come flooding back. It could downpour yesterday also. A very human emotional poem that grabs one in the gut. Nice James! An ivory handed caress be yours. For all that was ......... Dellena
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