This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2009-06-28 17:52:13 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


Reaching

And I sit and think Am I not as the tree Branched and reaching I wish to rise in hope Search for warmth, the light of day To rise to sunshine Yet I am stayed, clinging Dark and shadowed Strained and lonely Standing in life’s storms Bound beauty, brittle strength  Easily tossed to unyielding winds Suddenly split by lightning That jagged word, pitched my way Aimed for the heart Once struck, left wounded Just to left my roots, the strength The courage needed They, deep and tangled Grasping, seeking solid ground False support, more a prison make Oh yes, we are all as one, the same Of trees, soft grasses in gentle breeze The vastness of a Mountain range The valley lush that runs between We are as the flowing stream Tumbling swift, or so it seems But in me flows, not water cool But heat of blood, and with it Fear of bleeding, And I Left here, in the shadows  I cast beneath me

Copyright © June 2009 Nancy Ann Hemsworth


This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-07-07 08:41:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nancy, you have a way with illusion. Share this more broadly, moving more outside the self into the world about you. Poe was the last poet successful with such keen introspecting upon self alone. We, the readers, need comparison and contrast...your plight with that of others. You can take this to the next level by finding universally attachments to that of others. We are, after all, gardeners in a nursery of the minds and thoughts of others. Dispose yourself to this and the interest of your poetry will grow proportionately. Very pleasing lines, "We are as the flowing stream/Tumbling swift, or so it seems". Now let's start off by NEVER placing the pronoun "me" in any poem not intended to be a ditty. Do this one little thing for me and you'll be amazed at what happens. JCH


This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-07-04 00:04:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
Hi Nancy, An interesting comparison between a tree bound to its soil like a prisoner and yourself (bound to your sense of being). You must have been in a very philosophical state of mind while writing this. If I were to make suggestions, it would be to shorten it so that it packs more power and to mke the flow more uniform - verse 5 suddenly seemed to have all this rhyme which isolates it from the overall flow. I would also like to see the imagery of imprisonment enhanced with a stronger feeling of pain and suffering. Enjoyed the read. Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-07-01 08:39:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I just wrote out a whole critique; and lost it in a second. In essence what I wrote is that that your poem; is one of the best submissions for the month of June. It has everything that makes a poem stand out. Intense emotions; a meaning - clarity - and substance - this reader was enthralled by all of the fresh; new verbiage used to express emotions of life - in precise meaningful verses. On my list, blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-06-29 17:47:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Nancy, Your thought runs through very well. And your description too. We do all reach for the sun. Sun is life giving. Thankfully! I get stuck: Just to left my roots, the strength I wonder about left/should it be let? The courage needed Loved this stanza: Oh yes, we are all as one, the same Life is life! Of trees, soft grasses in gentle breeze The vastness of a Mountain range The valley lush that runs between We are as the flowing stream Tumbling swift, or so it seems Good job. Hope the sun reaches you! Dellena
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!