This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-07-09 20:10:11 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Either Way Soft, innocent and fresh youth
Unblemished by day's light
In then out chest inflate
Possibility's the air
The gathering momentum
Will part seas to become
Accumulation of times
Since the day you were born
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Copyright © July 2009 Dellena Rovito
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-08-02 21:58:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Dellena,
Powerful piece. Lovely ending - a good philosophy on the starting point of a human being's map of life. 'Either Way' is a befitting title. Great job here !!
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-07-29 20:55:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
In finding our way to a successful poeming we find a poignance in ourselves. It takes a mastery
to write a poem such as this...clearly your most polished. "In then out chest inflate" is wonderful
offering every poetic device in a subtlety uncontrived and natural as breath.
To adopt hope with this profoundness and to share it is poetic ideal realized. And places a duration
upon longevity only the word, love, can portray.
A beautiful poem.
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-07-25 23:37:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Dellena; I enjoyed this write; but the flow is off for me; I find something in it that doesn't jive like the rest of your pieces. Maybe it's the wording; that needs to be rearranged some - to enhance this write.
Softly innocence of fresh youth
Unblemished by light
Inhales, inflates air and possibilities
Gathering momentum
To part seas
From the day you were born
Through accumulation of time
Just a suggestion;
What do you think?
Blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2009-07-20 09:48:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dellena,
Interesting theme to show time passing and growth of oneself. Short and to the point. Thanks for sharing a thought and expression of feelings. Well done.
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