To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
By The Lake In "Yardville" “Never again so small, never again at all†Author Unknown Hopscotch, hunting butterflies and fire flies at night. Lollipops, bubbly gum popping over your lips. Chalk pictures clutter sidewalks under rain gleaming cement rainbows flood over curbs Fiery temps with dogs’ wet scents charcoal in the air eager to go to the summer fair Eyes astounded at dry ice in 100 degrees look fine with hundreds of soda cans strewn round to wash down cheese popcorn. Salty kisses, tanned skin and baby oil splash wet hair with lemons for the sun to lighten up While letting out sand from suits draped outside to dry Inside board games Diana Ross blasts love songs from radios dancing in the freedom of youth Cheery to wake sad to be urged to your pillow under covers with a light reading Nancy Drew Till someone knew then you Lights out small one – to dreams of effortless rest Youth in summer suburbs clearly the best. |
Additional Notes:
Reflection of my youth; once settled after living in Germany from age 4 - 8, my parents bought a home in N.J., Yardville, right across from a lake - life so different and carefree back then - never again, never at all -
but it was a great place to live; and grow up.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-08-07 09:32:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
One time when a foot-note works for a poem. The images flash panoramic-like, just as child
experience would with innocent context. Subtle rhyme, very good internal rhyme, gives this poem
more high-light to imagery causing it to flow in ways the more contrived would not.
Although I'm one to talk, I'd suggest a little more adherence to form and to place the lines more
in keeping with each other on the score of meter. Not perfectly (we get back to that contrived thing
again,) but just enough to tighten things a bit.
You have a fine way with image-making, rely on it more instead of completed sentences so much. Articles
like, "a", "the", "from" can be used more sparingly.
Then this poem could be even more magical.
JCH