This Poem was Submitted By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2009-08-26 00:55:34 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
Soul Mates He had an instantaneous affect on me
knees weak with breath interrupted.
Total connection deep within
life never to be the same again.
A profound encounter with my inner soul,
swirling emotions of an unexpected chance.
Deep yearning with senses so rich,
passion shared and energies merged.
Beyond the flame creation moves,
as a wave of the ocean on a hot summer day.
Where did I begin and when does it end
lost in someone else’s nature?
|
|
Copyright © August 2009 Debbie Spicer
Additional Notes:
It has been a "long" time since I have posted or written anything so I am just a beginner again! Hi to all!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-09-05 22:45:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Debbie,
Very nice......
Loving described perfectly.
You are much blessed.
It has been awhile,welcome back.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-09-05 03:44:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Debbie !!!
It is a pleasure to see a post from you in ages. It would be great if you could share more of your poetry with us on a regular basis. I hope all is well with you.
You have written a very 'real' and 'touching' poem on the influence that only a soul mate could weild. The inter-weaving of two natures is portrayed well in a profound simplicty that highlights just that - simplicity in connections - no strings attached, no expectations...it's almost like staring at oneself in the mirror of contentment. That is the power of a 'soul mate' and I'm happy you reminded me of it today.
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2009-09-01 20:33:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Debbie
It seems a simple thing and expressed so simply, but the full mystery is here of the chance encounter that changes one completely. Your closing lines confirm the wonder of it: 'Where did I begin and when does it end/lost in someone else’s nature?'
A lovely vignette.
Best wishes
Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2009-08-31 23:08:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Debbie,
I have a few friends who at different times, have announced they have found their soul-mates. I say different times, because once on that trail...it's exactly as you have written... until the next soul-mate comes along. Do I sound cynical? Not really, it's just that in that experience all sense of decorum seems to vanish. And love and sex enter into an astounding confusion, blessed by every cliche romance has ever had going for it.
Your poem sums it up nicely. And if it is about someone who has stood the test of time, heartfelt congratulations; for this is as rare as mushroom flying saucers.
Welcome back to TPL!
Terry
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2009-08-30 21:46:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Very nice to see you post again Debbie. Having twice met the instant sweetness you speak of, I find it refreshing to read it from someone elses lips.
What amazes me most is the number of people unfamiliar with your premise. Certainly it is an axiom for some that belies simple explanation.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-08-28 00:16:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hey, nice to see you back Debbie.
To start the last verse of this poem is my favorite, the one I connected with and felt most impact with.
Absolutely beautifully stated - the imagery is flawless - unique comparison, love with nature; and being wrapped up in the soul of someone elses' natural being. Concept is fresh -
Starting verse pushes the reader to keep reading; no nits, and message stands out of what is yet to come.
Second verse is good, but not as good as the other two - just my opinion, I think you could have embellished this verse with more "stand out" words, perhaps not the first two lines, but def the 2nd two.
Deep yearning with senses so rich,
passion shared and energies merged - takes away from the rest of the write.
The depth of feeling binds passions and energies merged? I don't know, (smile) tired, but that was the only stall through the whole read.
thanks for posting, and being here again,
blessings,
Deni
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!