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This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-08-26 13:18:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Unsettled

Where we alight, the branches that quiver undecided to hold Like a cough tickling mortality enough uncertain to end Each footfall apprehends a thorn.... while the fear becomes more burden than the prick.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-09-05 22:22:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
James, I'm slow this month also, sory. I like this. Another thought provoker. Fear can paralyze us. [me] And is a big burden .... Like the forced vaccinations for swine flu, I'm frightened a heck. Among a zillion other things. And it's out of my reach to fix. So we try to live with the stress.. A tough ride it is! dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2009-09-04 13:39:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I like the economy of this poem and the feelings it inspires with each line. The "punch" at the end made me return to the top, re-read and re-evaluate. The imagery is clear, the motion of the poem seems to advance in measured steps, and yet smoothly. You never cease to amaze me. I have returned many times over the years to read your works and have been rewarded each time with a lesson in the art. Thanks, Irene Fraley

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-09-02 23:23:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi James, Very deep and rich in language. Yes, the fear of death can be a greater burden than death itself. I really like the way you have presented your thought.. One of my favorite poems of yours. Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2009-08-30 22:08:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Moving forward in living; the that feeling, or fear, apprehension- for me (unrelated, if you will), I must never be arrested. The irrational fear (claustrophobia) would drive me to become battered by the police, insane and quite out of control No, not really relative to your piece, but that is the feeling of living that I read in your wording. Sort of like Keanu's line in "the replacements" about quicksand. I think there is a correctness in your assessment; we cause much of the quivering, or over do the impulse. I remember a Bill Gaither live album where his son asks "what do you do about the itching", his response? "I often wonder about that myself". thank you for sharing this piece.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2009-08-29 12:57:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I read some of Plath's poetry to determine just why it was so significant. IMMEDIACY. That's a quality of many great poets, and perhaps one of the subtle differences between so called academic poetry (armchair poetry, removed, looking through a window poetry); and the real stuff. Though people, things, events may inspire a poem, the 'fuse that drives the force' of the poem is inside the poet, touched by inspiration. This is a subtlety that distinguishes between what merely subscribes to popular notions of what good poetry is, and what blows in out of the water towards something extraordinary, touching upon what is living in the words and ideas fully. Your poetry has this quality of immediacy. What also stands out, is that you write without burden, and that is what Plath did in the last months of her life. To achieve this freedom of expression and live, is something Plath did not achieve. But it is worth achieving and for reasons beyond the obvious, for poets especially. As well, this poem made me smile, so wonderfully did you wrap your meanings into the words. Thank you. Terry

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2009-08-29 00:37:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH, Has the feel of precision, like a watchmaker made it with great care. Welcome back from your brief vacation. MSS

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2009-08-27 21:03:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
JCH You've certainly got something going on here... conditions that are as uncertain about us as we are about them. Nice. "the fear becomes more burden/than the prick". No truer statement have I read lately. MAH

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-08-27 18:39:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Well, Thank God - I was getting tired of reading my current posts over & over again. Between you, Dellena & Duane - I've been wondering what the heck is going on here - as well as Lora. Very different, the title is the best because it illuminates the content of your write. Imagery is outstanding JC, especially like your second two lines - with such a short poem, the total impact is amazing. We know what the thorn will feel like - and indeed numerous anxiety causing life circumstances are piling high, We can look at this poem two ways - life in general or a specific event - it can relate to one or the other. Burdens are heavy loads we have to focus on letting go, letting the Higher power resolve why we - focus on well-being and appreciation of life - with it's uncertainty to the end - we never cheat and view the last chapter in our lives - On my list - I'm so glad to see you back - hope my critique is ok - I was just discharged from the hospital yesterday - and that was certainly not on my list of to do things for this week, blessings, Deni

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