This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-09-16 00:55:04 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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100 - 70 Equals Thirty

One Two Then quickly to ten. a decade old having youth within. Twenty, doubly years have passed, there’s so much more within your grasp. Dirty thirty has crept up halfway you’re still young enough. Forty fears lead to how many more years. Fifty damn aged before needing to be who I am. Now my first eight lines are juvenile times, the next spell old out loud. Sixty plus, seventy thus elderly eighty -  Please God a must; will twenty more come? To revelation in harsh terms spelled bold, We’re younger in life  The rest of it we are old.

Copyright © September 2009 DeniMari Z.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-10-03 21:24:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94737
Hi Deni, Though this poem's theme is morose (the process of ageing), you coat with a light hearted manner that would ease anyone who fears it - and believe me I do...I hope never to leave the twenties (if not through numbers; then definitely through good health and spirit - high hopes because from the looks of it, i'll be eighty before i'm thirty). While I miss the charged imagery of some of your other works, I appreciate this take on 'ageing' and for mellowing its darker side. Duane.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-09-23 19:17:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Deni, Sounds like a crisis to me! Age wears ot so well. I find that you get much more benefit with age. Maturity, knowledge, independance, less pressure, more of a sense of self......and more and more. May I say to you, to enjoy every single day and forget what you think should have been. You are free to be thee. Good poem, good bitching! I could have written this in my past days also. You are coming along fine! Keep on. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2009-09-21 17:58:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Deni quit looking in the mirror and dreading what is to come. Have to admit that half way through this I started to chuckle and remember as I began to feel the years slide away. So, now one must live each day, it has nothing to do with youth but what is in the heart and spirit. I had to read this a couple of times to catch your drift, I truly hope you are not becoming depressed with the age thing, heaven knows health problems can be depressing enough...they come to all of us regardless of age. This really is a strony write and if one doesn't take one's self too seriously; this is almost satirical and can offer some sage advice. So get out there and live..be you, age does not define who we are.. There is nothing I can offer in ways of suggestion for any change .. so I stand sated by the read. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2009-09-18 16:38:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
greetings from south korea --dmz. how appropriate this poem is for me right at this moment. will turn 40 in about 8 months--and not only can i relate to the first 30 years you talk about, but i can also understand what the lines describing 50, 60, 70, 80 and beyond are talking about. my brother, who is 364 days older than me, just had surgery to remove melanoma from his shoulder, only to find out that the 2 lymph nodes they took out were riddled with the disease as well. i can still remember how at 10--life seemed to be endless, and at 20, though i realized that time was picking up speed, that i still had plenty of time. and how, at 30, i still felt like 20. but now almost 40, especially with the news about my brother, i am wondering "what will the next few years bring?" and at 50, will i have regret over what could've/should've been? and even now i'm thinking, "how much longer?" i've been away for awhile--but i still remember the power of your prose...thanks
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2009-09-17 09:05:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
Dear Deni "Too soon old, too late smart" is what this brings to mind. One of the perennial laments. Nicely, and gently, done. Best wishes Mark
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