This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-09-26 15:32:29 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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It Comes

Cycling around, passing devout by the throat                     of human carrion Obliging Nostradamus, Da Vinci validity                     to take crow perch Upon the dead branch of fruit tree broken                    to the ground with bearing. The vision of earth purging from the jostle                    of man's beat upon man Until the tiny spear thought to secure the few                     by the death of the many. Rolls its last outrage to the heavens compelling                          answer.  “And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?”....W.B. Yeats, The Second Coming
Copyright © September 2009 James C. Horak

Additional Notes:
http://www.foxnews.com/search-results/m/26524005/rapid-response.htm#q=child+abuse

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-10-03 22:43:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
James, Our children, our weak, our ignorant, going to the slaughter. We may luck out of forced vaccination, but still the busy mothers won't realize the harm and many die so elite will have their wants met. The vision of earth purging from the jostle of man's beat upon man Until the tiny spear thought to secure the few by the death of the many. Rolls its last outrage to the heavens compelling answer. You speak so eloquently. I await it's passing. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2009-10-02 09:23:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95455
JCH As usual there are two issues to consider, the message itself and the--for want of a better word--artistry of the delivery. On the latter point, this is not up to your usual standard: it has a very 'first draft' feel to it. Regarding the former, I know you care deeply about this stuff. I do too, but doubtless in different ways, with different emphases. But the point is, it seems to me that here your strong passion over the subject is in such a hurry to be expressed that it doesn't seem to notice or care what it does to your diction. Take, for example, the section beginning "Obliging Nostradamus, Da Vinci validity/to take crow perch". There's nothing mysterious or hidden about this, since the allusions are not difficult to grasp, so why employ diction that seems to suggest there is? It just strikes me as really clunky, and I've seen you do so much better, "Sex fed and tick happy" being, for me, the best example of this this month. In a nutshell, I found this a frustrating piece. Arresting, but ultimately unsatisfying. On a personal note, I think the Beast is already here, and that we are not only already deep in its belly but have been for centuries. Best wishes always MAH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-09-26 22:37:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94118
Hi James, The 'end time' heat is hotter than it ever was and this piece is a stark and vivid reflection of the onset of those times. i especially like the image of the crow perched on an over-burdened fruit tree branch. Excellent. Duane.
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