This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-10-07 09:34:14 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
East of Eden* Our woman today
a cat untaken
Unknowable lay
Unengendered in
self-protection
Staunchly sheathed
when
Pimped
A meanness declining
but not always
Stronger than man
and able to stand
The insipid knowingly.
*Title inspired by John Steinbeck's novel of the same name,
but there comparisons end. |
|
Copyright © October 2009 James C. Horak
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-10-18 22:11:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi James,
This is a complex look at 'woman' especially in the 21st century having come a long way since the 'innocence' of Eden with the road of corruption building up steadily from its gates to where we are. I contemplate on the significance of 'East' in relation to this piece though it is a fine title to attach to a poem. Your poem captures the very unique and often undistingushable mix of both 'her' weaknesses and strengths - so easily exploited, yet fiesty in standing up for her rights. A thought provking poem that has engaged me this Monday morning.
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2009-10-10 19:58:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
James, I really like this brain teaser. Your poetic language is sculpted well in your formatting and as you've presented this in a straight forward well metered offering I find it truly a delight. It is so profound and oh so spot on. Lesser men will not catch your drift right out but if they hearten to their more
femine side (God forbid) sorry about that, they may get a glimmer of the depth of your words. Balance is always difficult when one mixs the genders in philosophy, the arts, communication and contemplation. The end goal would idealistically be to put blinders on and read a work unaware of the author or author's gender, then perhaps the pathos and sinasizium (sp) would be different... Yes, you speak beyond the box, beyond the confines but few ever go there.. risky territory. I think your poem is strongly written with a voice that speaks decibles above the norm... yes, East of Eden, and remembering the book... is an apt title for your write... Exemplary writing, par excellance! Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2009-10-08 21:11:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH
This is seems an unambiguously ambiguous depiction of modern woman. It seems replete with the contraries of men's attitudes towards women and women's presentation of themselves to the world, especially the sense in which, while to men women may be objects, women are too often objects even to themselves.
Your depiction is not ungenerous - "able to stand/The insipid knowingly" articulates one aspect of women's strengths. By contrast, "Staunchly sheathed/when/Pimped" is (again, ambiguously) seems uncommitted to a view as to whether women are complicit in or merely exploited by this: it's the "pimped" word which queers the pitch. And "a cat untaken" comes across almost as an misogynist invitation to a rapist to break her in.
As for "East of Eden" I'd say that you could just as well have titled it "West-nor-west of Eden": that we're outside of Eden seems the point. It's a confused, ambiguous space, and this poem seems to me an accurate distillation of the situation.
No wonder women (and men) are struggling.
MAH
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!