This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2009-11-12 15:10:58 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Coming of Rain

Your tongue So Softly traced my body Licking salt from wet skin Caused me to shiver  So hot, your touch That I felt Instantly afire, unable to cool And then… I began to heal And then… Your tongue Like the Wet lick of winter rain Stinging cold, hitting warm flesh Caused me to shuttered So icy , your tone That I felt  Quick frozen, unable to thaw And then… I began to shatter And then… Your tongue A dancer, tripping my emotions Flowing one way, jerking another Caused me to whirl So Quickly, unsteady That I felt Dizzied , unable to balance And then... I began to fall To heal, to shatter, to fall…to what end? To what I will allow? Through all the tears  The coming of rain To perhaps my wish  At the end of a rainbow.
Copyright © November 2009 Nancy Ann Hemsworth

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2009-12-07 12:16:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello Nancy, I like the melancholy flavor of this poem. It sounds as if you have lost a loved one and continue to feel the grief like a knife that stabs. In the line below do you mean shudder instead of shuttered? I think 'shudder' makes more sense, unless your intention is a metaphor which I don't quite understand. Other than that you have written this well with profound emotion. Caused me to shuttered Best, cheyenne

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-12-07 09:43:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Hi Nancy, Quite a mix of internal emotions in this write. Confusion with boundaries as to what to believe, or to not believe? Very seductive write, stimulating senses adding impact to the imagery. We never know from one minute to the other, what love will bring - to be purely satisfied with trust, security and life lasting friendship is all we can hope for - remember, relationships are work - for the good keep together what your heart desires, and love unconditionally. blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: claire currier On Date: 2009-11-30 00:22:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Hi Nancy.....just stopping by to let you know I have read this poem and find it so very powerful in its presentation.....the words flow and in the flowing bring forth images and emotions alike. Really good how you went to heal, to shatter, to fall....to what end? and in the end to project perhaps your own dreams. Thank you for posting, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-11-22 21:05:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy, Nice poem - on two levels as I read it - one, in the voice of the earth and the other, in the voice of a human being. I like to go with the former. It makes for richer reading :-) This piece is almost perfect for this time fo year. I found that the last two verses were stronger than the first - licking salt from wet skin, hitting warm flesh could be re-done to give it more freshness. Otherwise, a poem that is passionate in its expression. Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-11-16 23:15:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
It was an interesting discovery to learn that women tended to apply more extended meanings to the sensual/sexual. Then it was another knock-around-the-block to learn there were women even more removed than men. Even without the experience of being in the "oldest profession". We only like to think there are gender lines...even in the face of so many exceptions. Sometimes we have an instinct showering upon us the person opposite our way is "within our flow". God,if we could only trust something like that... Instead, to be safe, we take what we can in passing, growing old without the respite of ever satisfying what we saw in those fifties movies. Maybe not "the end of the rainbow" but with good wine it suffices. And I hope for you too. So, "to what end"?, you still ask? For us men (for whom I am only fit to answer,) hardly economy. JCH
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