This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-01-08 22:17:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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How We Are to Share (Father Time) The deepness, the cavern of the soul
carried, in burden best lightly I'm told
For the little, the young and fragile
uncommonly pained
The piercing dagger blood-let stained
denies them little relief to mounting
Still-born fear a tear to heart in a frown
All the most, that feel so deep from anquish
to flourishing love
In a moment can come near the fallen dove
from a cold touch of another's despair. |
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Copyright © January 2010 James C. Horak
Additional Notes:
This is my tribute to a Thomas Hardy novel I recently mentioned in a critique. As a transitional novel
(from the Victorian novel of manners to realism as stark as that of Zola,) Jude the Obscure has rarely,
if ever, been given the credit it deserves. Its protagonist, Jude, has taken on the obligations of a
rather make-shift family. Highly adept at ancient languages, picked up almost entirely by his own
unschooled efforts, he finally comes to acknowledge all his dreams and efforts are for naught. Wrought
with despair his plunge into the depths is viewed by the oldest of his three children, a very impressionable
child that may perhaps even shares Jude's talents.
This seeing his father reduced to such a state, and his own realizations of the near poverty the family lives
within (meaning no relief in sight,) the boy takes the lives of his brother and sister and then himself.
The note he leaves read: "Done because we are too menny".
Such realism had not been presented in an English novel before...and hardly has in in novel since, with such
keen sensitivity.
Many years later, the German poet and playwright, Bertholdt Brecht wrote a poem, The Infanticide of Marie
Farrar, the only other piece of literature nearly as arresting as that of Hardy's example of this young boy
he named, Father Time.
We cannot gauge the effects our actions have on others until we allow our own senstivities to hear above
the roar our own arguments make with ourselves.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2010-01-15 21:10:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH
Yours is a unique style, and it carries me from start to finish in this poem.
What I read as an equation of "fallen dove" and (another's) "despair" is inspired.
The whole piece is inspired. Truly.
MAH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-01-12 08:58:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, this poem is so very "heavy" with all the tones and textures here in. I've read it several times and still come away knowing that I have not reached the depths of what you have given. Is it sacrifice or logic that stills a heavy heart when one empasizes anothers need or pain. So sad, so strongly written and yet I would not want to be the judge of the action taken, for who am I to say what is sin or bravery. I can see where this poem can spark many a debate yet in the end it is up to each individual to decide how much to take away and what the consequence of collected thought and principle shall be. Very well executed, and upon first blush a bit obligue/ abstract... which does fade upon re-reading. I've come back to this one several times, so in that-- you know that your write resonates within the reader. Very well done. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-01-11 16:55:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello JCH,
You have a talent for writing profound and evocative poetry. This poem is especially so. I have not read the novel but your notes are so well done that I feel I understand the anguish the boy experienced. What could be more demeaning than to believe that one is too menny? I was drawn to read this poem more than once and come away with feelings of melancholy each time. Bravo!
Best, cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-01-10 00:52:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Wow - on this note JC - This could be a famous quote one day - how true this is.
We cannot gauge the effects our actions have on others until we allow our own senstivities to hear above
the roar our own arguments make with ourselves.
I'm not familiar with the read - but as far as your poem - it's sad, intense, and you have chosen good imagery to create the setting for your write. I like the ending the most -
In a moment can come near the fallen dove, from a cold touch of another's despair - priceless -
At first I thought the title you chose was going to bring a poem about the New Year - but it works with this piece - I don't know why - it just does. The father in the story - the son - tie it in to the poem.
Very nice, I enjoyed this write.
blessings,
Deni
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