This Poem was Submitted By: Medard Louis Lefevre Jr. On Date: 2010-01-09 12:29:33 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Raoul The light is seen on the other side
From here it is still so beautiful
No extermination can lessen its glow
No darkness can stop it from shining
You gave the light to those still here
Yet as all saviors know
You couldn't save them all
The blackness of man
Incorporated into evil
Cannot rescue
All who are innocent
I love you as a brother
Even more as a friend
Your compassion engulfs me
And tenders me to a higher calling
I wish I knew you
More than the scribes
But in a way I know you
Your glory perfuses my heart
I pray you are resting
With the Glorious One
Where you deserve to be
Though restless
I am sure you are
As all saints realize
Their work is never done |
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Copyright © January 2010 Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.
Additional Notes:
Raoul Wallenberg
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2010-01-20 19:29:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Medard
This is a lovely touching elegy. Elegant and restrained.
Nice to see you back, especially with something so good.
Best wishes
Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-01-10 09:39:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
I would suggest replacing "extermination" with extinguishing. The former word has adroit
connotations I don't think you want since the tone the poem sets is subtle. It is interesting
how your lines broaden to pertain to such a host of "saints" extending well beyond one religion,
one ethnicity. The process "evil" realizes IS an incorporation and your lines, "The blackness of
man/Incorporated into evil" appreciates it well.
I have always maintained that the intense is not that well served by structured form. Taking
extreme license to poem this in free verse is a good choice. Still, your next to last verse, has
the multi-facets of good imagery as it plays on meaning with inversion. Your last line, an open
commentary on society as well as saintly works, is a good summation.
Men like Raoul Wallenberg should always be remembered. In your subtlety you have succeeded well
beyond "shouts".
JCH
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