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This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-01-16 17:24:50 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Alone

alone in tragic ebbs of grey light disheveled shadows on crystal walls their ashy tongues lick blades of night silent songs etch sobbing souls

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-01-26 22:28:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Chey, this bespeaks of a deep and sad feeling of loss, one that haunts the heart and soul. A nice free verse poem that embodies heart felt loss and confusion, a deep wretching depression that is only soothed by the tears that rack the body. There is nothing to find fault with in this poem, no nits or spags. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-01-19 23:27:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Beautiful, there is beauty through pain, being alone - Superchick a music artist does a song called Beauty Through Pain, you might like to listen to it. I really enjoyed this write - short, yet full of emotion that has an impact on the reader. To embrace this feeling and to move on - would be the positive - or would it? I particularly stay away from crowds...lol, but a few people around would be nice. Fav line: disheveled shadows on crystal walls - and what follows - their ashy tongues lick blades of night. Very poetic, a good write, blessings, Deni

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2010-01-18 05:24:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Cheyenne The mood is well established, and your form cpatures a sense of the throbbing of an infected wound. Neat and tidy work. Mark

This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2010-01-17 03:09:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Cheyenne, The imagery in this poem is perfect to the subject matter and original- "ashy tongues lick blades of night", is gifted. In the short poem category, I don't think I've read one any better. Sylvia Plath said (and I paraphrase) that manny poets start out writing nature poems and then they bring poetry closer to themselves as they tap into their own perspectives; and then their poems could only have been written by themself and no longer imitate others. I think you've achieved that here. Terry

This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-01-16 22:36:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86667
The stark, though rarely palpable is visited, companion are we in this just as much as in enjoying a game of sport. Strangely perhaps even brought closer. So that in daily tragedies we are not alone. Still the visits can be intense, so much so we can't imagine another having shared them. These moments are the most dismal with an added feeling of abandon. Then, even walls seem to mock us and the shadow play upon them just as you describe. Imagery well connected enough to envision for you did not describe it, you portrayed it. Every difference in the world, my dear. JCH

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-01-16 19:51:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Cheyenne, I feel opposite you concerning aloneness. I'm thrilled to have time to ponder the things in my world. I think we have too much keeping us side tracked as to what is of real importance. I think you will come to understand this thought. I say wallow in your feelings and let it work through you. You will be fine! Good expressions ..... Dellena

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