This Poem was Submitted By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2010-01-25 15:31:48 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
One In A Long Line or Ready For Battle We’ve all seen them
In the Civil War photos
Blue and Gray
opposites but the same
And the old Baseball
pictures
and Cowboys
Men in their hats
Cocked jauntily to the side
pulled down tight
in determination
or pushed back in amusement
So important
only deep respect or
total despair
will show one held in hand
I believe I’ll wear mine
cocked a little today
So if you take a picture
you won’t know
|
|
Copyright © January 2010 Kenneth R. Patton
Additional Notes:
I caught my reflection in a mirror and noticed
my hat was crooked.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2010-02-05 23:03:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Kenneth,
Good to see another post from you.
Interesting thought behind this and the last verse was the key. I did feel that the preceeding verses could have been a lot less direct with more metaphor and stronger imagery.
Take care,
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-01-31 02:18:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95833
Hi Ken, good inspiration for a poem, we just never know what moment will strike our muse and end with a poem.
I like the nostaligic touch on this - takes me back for awhile - learning about the Civil War - picturing the old baseball cards - so many people had huge collections very hard to forget those. Good humourous touch on this poem- we can go out with a crooked hat - and still enjoy the day - a view on the past to present - but most importantly I see a message of being happy coming through in this.
Thanks for sharing,
I liked this post.
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-01-28 17:12:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Kenneth,
I enjoyed reading this poem more than once. In the beginning lines I thought it would be a serious or sad poem. But you rescued it from being dour to being delightful. Then I began to think the hat is a metaphor for life, perhaps. However, I decided not to dig too deep and just enjoyed it for the words and the surface meaning. Well done.
Best wishes,
cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-01-26 09:03:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93333
You've become adept at the lingering final statement, dropped almost from a magician's hat.
The rustic poet certainly has value, I've never meant to in anyway deprecate that nor ever will.
Remember Arnie?...our rustic poet in residence before you obtained that accolade. One day I
made a bold and unfair statement to see if I could break him out of that mold...not being so
appreciative as I am now. He won that next month's contest with a true gem. It was about the
Biblical David.
The first verse is stoic in its wisdom, matter-of-factly observing the brother against brother,
father against son, context of an awful Civil War (opposites but the same.) Then you focus
the rest of the poem on "Men in their hats" emerging from out of the poem yourself within that
frame. Successful in that device you have established a universality applying with today.
Sometimes "down home" wisdom can be the best kind.
Your best poem I've read yet. Keep it up.
JCH
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!