This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2010-02-14 00:45:57 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Base camp

I could not see the next summit, the gashed gnarl of its face. I guessed only that its steepening inclines had been set against me. I could hear all the echoings of the dead in their ice-tombs where their aims had led them and buried them, then, deeper, the incredible footfall of sherpas, spirited, light and deft, unbetraying. A silence stretched on toward a night long with unhuman testimony. Then it came: the world-clearing  hammer-blows of distant avalanches, the palpitations of chaos, one whiteout of potentiality. My tent fluttered and gripped at the snow that stored for spring all paths to the peak, leading through veils of embraces, inconsolable losses, charms,  fantastic indictments. Swelling its stormfront, then collapsing into a voice like winter, the wind  took up a human song and broke across the horizons. It sang, “You are an unborn fjord, a chasm yet to be. Only water sculpts its beauty: let it pass.  Throw no harness over the clouds,  they hold no secrets, but are. Here, while you plan your ascent each night, exalting the fey, the indolent, the totemic, you are like a thief on a watchtower. Until every such night has passed you will light, tend, and watch die a small, tense fire, but awake surrounded by footprints.'

Copyright © February 2010 Mark Andrew Hislop


This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-03-06 00:34:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A rare poem for online consumption. A quandary thrown me when I'd like better to have tidy vote. Only that I've been right about you all along and this damn well proves it. And I don't want to see anymore half-hearted attempts from you after this. Easily the most attractive to read poem I've read since I've been here. Though you have screwed up the order of my vote, thank you very much. JCH


This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2010-03-05 23:33:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mark, A very effective poem that is enveloped with rich imagery and more than that a feeling of involvement. I felt part of this picture in motion. Very nice. Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2010-02-24 18:35:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MAH, Mate, I just love this one. I'll tell you what strikes me about it, what makes it different from your other work (which, as you know, I am very fond of all your stuff): there is not that same sense of contrivance, of elaborating a conceit, which sometimes give your work a feel of being a little too strained, and too clever. This one just flows. The language is natural, inspired - your Muse is carrying you, lifting you like a wind, and the old sail bellies. One of my favorites of yours. MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2010-02-21 13:17:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MSS: Re: Hisplop Writes with Reality looking in through the greasy window. Works words into a frenzy. Reminds lazy minds to keep matches dry. Would recommend for promotion to farmer or herder. Has an element of independence that bears watching. Motivations appear to be grounded in fantasy. TEW
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-02-18 09:09:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Excellent - nothing to comment on in a negative way - this poem has left an impression in my mind - so much to choose from in each verse - I could sit all day, and not say enough to warrant this piece the praise it deserves. Each word fills the readers soul, and I commend you, for the ability to put something like this poem, into words that flow, and keep the reader amazed. blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-02-16 19:12:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark, This makes me think of life. We head to the peak of the mountain. Base camp is the earth. Ew every reach the top........ As we all sit by the fire, footprints surrounding. Great poem, makes one think. Love the idea. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-02-14 17:25:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello Mark, I have read this piece several times. First for the words, then for clarity and then for the vivid imagery. I first thought it was about the earthquake in Haiti but then I thought, no, this is a metaphor for life and all the challenges and strife we incur as we wend our way to whatever end we will finally meet. Sometimes the mountains are more like hills and other times they are like the steepest peak we will ever see. Your word selection is excellent and the flow (for feee verse) is even. I aplogize if I am out on a limb here, with my interpretation of your poem. However, having said that the words speak to me as I have written here. A well written and well crafted poem. Best wishes, cheyenne
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