This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-02-17 01:12:56 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
Dying Winds Eyes hide in antique lines
tears cascade where echoes
keep memories safe
She gathers stars
from clouds of night
shapes them
to fit her heart
that weeps in shallow runes
Words pile in corners
afraid to speak
lest shackled meanings
seem trite like whispers
washing away truth
Eyes and heart
closed
she awaits dying winds
|
|
Copyright © February 2010 cheyenne smyth
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2010-02-24 03:26:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Cheyenne
This is a touch too saccharin for my palate. A bit "too easy". And 'dying winds' in title and last line seems a bit unconnected to the poem. I get the 'sadness' motif, but I think you've let yourself off too lightly here, old sausage.
Best wishes
Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-02-18 15:54:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A unique and delightful poem, speaks deeply to the heart and the sadness of careless words--their affects. I hope the feelings soon dispell, excellent in meter and word. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2010-02-17 01:22:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Cheyenne,
The anticipation of 'dying winds' speaks a of a hope that is lost. The heart seems to have resigned itself to the defeat of loss. The setting is good - the quiet night, the gathering of stars, the resonance of weeping....There is an undelying softness here, enhanced by the images. A nice poem.
Duane.
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!