This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-03-23 02:00:33 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Thank You For Your Hospitality

“God almighty how they screamed”,  drank and made the little ones hush to the tones of solitary idle. Looking through closed doors is impossible. Minds were being destroyed, esteem broken down like  brittle nails, that need care  and nourishment to appear good again. Maddening invasion, relentless confrontation thrashing through the twisted sheets crazy noise with clenching teeth. Only to repeat, and repeat.............  The devils fools, bred fed a demon of disgusted immorally forced feasts to pierce angelic souls. Now they’re gone into the ashes of forgiveness. Forgiveness is divine. Rational is the past, with pure seeking to last in blocked segments of the fractured mind. Still undeniable moments sneak up to the ones they left behind.

Copyright © March 2010 DeniMari Z.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2010-04-05 22:14:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Deni, I'm not exactly sure, but the scandal gripping the R.C. Church springs to mind through this poem mainly because the poem is so biblical in tone and vocabulary-devils and angelic souls, judgement and forgiveness. Infused with righteous anger, the pacing of this poem, where you placed the line breaks, thought and imagery all amount to a very good write. I'm not exactly sure of the meaning of the title, and in the way I've seen to interpret this poem, it doesn't fit. (and so I'm not sure if I'm gathering what you aim this poem at.) Still, it's a strong poem that you successful save from being a rant by the last two lines, which are solemn and wise. Terry


This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2010-04-01 10:12:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Deni, I love the fire, the anger in this. Righteous anger like a cloak of protection and protest over a tenderness and abiding love for the really human core - abused, assaulted, manipulated, raped. The majority moves contrarily to the force in this poem. Those who "scream" out, not necessarily the same "screamers" as in your first line, will very often become perpetual screamers, because their screams marginalize them further . . . and then they scream some more. Some noble souls try to rise above screaming, transform screaming. God bless them. As for me I'm a pissed off screamer, and will scream - pray God ever louder - until I spend my last breathe, like Ahab, on the whale. I like this. MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-03-30 18:41:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. It was vibrant and passionate. The stanzas were well formed and the vernacular clear; it is a powerful piece. For me, unless you are speaking of the result of past sin or appropriated issues, I am not clear who the villain is. For both the above, the memories and the deeds, the verse matches well. This was an excellent piece. Maybe I am a bit slow and need one more clue. Thank you for a finely crafted piece.
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