This Poem was Submitted By: Mark D. Kilburn On Date: 2010-04-16 11:30:23 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Lost Miracles
The black maple’s blood slowly ascends
furiously fighting both sloth and gravity
eventually becoming both sweet and desired.
Stirred by spring’s persistent hymn-march
That calls through snow and ice.
The sleeping bittersweet’s vines hear the canticle
but their grip is ever loosening, fighting for life and
wishing for words, powerful words
that cry out and carry. "Oh medicine men,
we are here, we can heal but feel forgotten."
Of course no medicine men can answer-
so few remain...
Still the desperate plants wail and moan.
"Our spring can’t sing when our purpose is lost,
no healers come to harvest our cures."
Miraculous plants and their powers possessed
are as potent as the soft song of spring.
But woe on us forgetting their use
unwanted they just fade away.
When the saxifrage and alumroot and paintbrush are all gone.
Will the maple’s sap still run uphill? Will our spring still sing her song?
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Copyright © April 2010 Mark D. Kilburn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-05-02 18:41:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark,
I love your poem of the plant life.
If we used them instead of American chemically made medicine we would
be healthier, possibly well!
It angers me at the way our standards have left and money profits all
that matters.
people die with poisoning from that endeavor.
Your poem is life enhancing which is 'good'!
You have written it well using personification.
Your internal and external rhymes were perfecto.
Lost/harvest/possesed, fighting/life
I'm into medicine men also.
Loved this,
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-04-29 12:18:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Eloquent write, this poem stands out for chosen verbiage that enhances the season of Spring. I'm in awe when I see how crafted poets are in decribing nature - and I believe I understand the message in this poem, but not 100 per cent.
Each verse flows with good structure and amazing imagery - and the last two lines tie the poem together -
wonderful metaphors - these are not missed through the write. You have done a great job with this poem, and credit is noted.
Very nicely done!
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-04-20 10:39:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello Mark,
It is easy for me to say, without reservation, that you have been writing for a long time. This is an accomplished poem and one I enjoyed reading more than once. I just wrote a poem (not finished yet) about spring singing her song. Also I write a lot of poems about nature (never run out of fodder to write about)
so this piece appeals to me on more than one level. Your imagery is excellent as are your well chosen words. There is nothing that I would recommend altering as it stands alone in perfection.
Best wishes,
cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-04-16 23:19:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Mark,
welcome back--it has been way to log since you've honored us with one of your writes. This is a very sage poem written by an accomplished pen. The cadence marches through without a hitch, you spread the story before our eyes and in the back of our minds we must realize that you not only speak of flora and fauna but of a people and their sacred elders who are all but disappeared; their voices but a soft almost unheard whisper. Your word smithing is astute as should the reader be in paying close attention to the gift you've shared. I especially appreciate your closing line, what a poignant question and so timely. no nits or spags from this reader. Most enjoyable.
TC
Lora
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