To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
Vacant Echoes I returned to the sea and found the sand washed away even though I believed it was fastened to earth It took bones and shells of briny promise that laid like treasured dreams I thought the undertow which swept the beach clean would hold waves of sand but the water surged empty upon my feet We parted but vowed to meet beside the sea in another tomorrow I called to you... vacant echoes answered When tides trembling sway licked the shore it failed to hold whispers I sighed for you A single tear fell on my cheek I wondered if your voice was lost in ocean’s mist when sands washed away, it was then I saw your grave |
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-04-23 03:52:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Awesome, totally brilliant and one of my fav scenes, anything near water. Understand that this is not just another post - it has quality, talent, emotions, and imagery that go far beyond the 1 - 10 scale of writing a memorable poem.
In my opinion it is flawless, you have perfected the message, used the most fresh lines I have seen this month and it never hesitates to stop the reader from sinking in to the piece, with an ending that takes your breath away.
Very proud of you, very happy to read your poems, great way to end a lackluster night.
blessings,
Deni