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Hidden Key A key to life lies hidden somewhere beneath emotions where a babe felt despair. Dancing to the music playing in her soul a song tuned out stories of things never told. Undeserving pain tossed in to the grave with those who were familiar playing mind bending games. The journey of this key safely buried with the fears washed, and waned to hide itself in forgiveness of loves tears. The lock it fits can open but it's best to keep it closed. For in the end it's in a hand of the only one who needs to know. |
Additional Notes:
Very old poem posted here at TPL - rewrittten with a more defining message.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2010-05-20 10:35:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Deni,
The poem ends well with a sense of mystery - 'For in the end it's in a hand/of the only one who/needs to know. And I like it. The poem is in very much in tune with an aspect of real life which makes it very relevant. I would attempt to freshen up some imagery - dancing to the music playing in her soul, udeserving pain tossed into the grave......
There is a strong foundation here...I'd work on making the imagery fresher...
Duane.