This Poem was Submitted By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2010-05-17 16:16:19 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Witnessing the Sea

I am haunted by the sea repelled  and fascinated Sea shanties crush me with shadowy knowledge A Cabin boy swept away calling out in futile anguish The Old Salt watching in horror Hearing his name I’m not sure which I was Perhaps neither Not a captain certainly Maybe just the cook in the galley Witnessing

Copyright © May 2010 Kenneth R. Patton

Additional Notes:
Been a while, to say the least.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2010-06-05 23:05:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Hi Kenneth, This is one of my favorite of yours. I liked the images and the manner in which they serve to progress your thought. Well done. Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-05-31 20:51:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Any poem written about water captures my attention. This is good, you always know what you want to come out in a poem, with your strength as a writer you've done it again. No matter how much time passes - your talent never fails here. blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-05-28 09:51:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Of course, the sea immediately draws MY attention. It is an interesting turnabout for the watcher to be listening to the “Witness”. There is a Moby Dick feel to your verse, cook or not. “Swept away”, “crush me”, “haunted”, “watching in Horror”, and for me, I see that anger of the sea, but this witness recognizes with respect the risk involved. Sort of the Captain Ahab obsession without the Ishmael. I liked the “just a cook”, having been to sea, there is few more important than the cook. You use of images to make your entire piece is exceptional. Thanks for sharing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-05-19 16:15:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Kenneth, Sounds like reincarnation or having a bad dream. Interesting concept. This is easy to read and flows along well. I think you could have framed the story more mysteriously. And left it open to wondering. Instead of summing it up at the end. I think you have a lot of meat with this poem to do just about anything with it. Dellena
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