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Goldfish Goldfish swim in a small bowl same as I swim around in mine. They orbit around in circles I do the same just fine. Their world is a lot smaller but they possibly see as much. The way I go about my day I'm most clearly out of touch. |
Additional Notes:
An older one I fiddled with a bit.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-05-27 22:13:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena, a curious comparison, of you and a fish in a bowl. I have to wonder if there is a larger issue, or if you really view the world as so confining.
You might consider reversing the perspective in s2l1 and l2, something like "My world is much larger" "but the fish might see as much". It would reinforce your initial simile.
I liked how you ended it "out of touch" it belies the "fishbowl" nature you had espoused. I guess, maybe, beyond the fishbowl, it is more difficult to keep a part.
Enjoyed the read!