This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2010-05-27 09:23:16 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Between
Here I Stand
One side a cliff to scale
The other a pit to descend
To climb the cliff
One must face it head on
Moving up requires dirt to cake under the nails
Sometimes several moves upward require one back
Light is seen at the top
Momentum of the body continues on
Roots protrude from the surface of the walls
Others have laid the foundation
The hand grasps gaining support
The foot finds hold
Perspiration rolls from the brow
Difficult is the task yet progress felt
To lower oneself into the pit
Moods begin to change quickly
The task at hand is to prevent the depth from taking hold
Support is easily lost making it difficult for control
Darkness is endless
Strength required in maintaining the position
Moss lines the walls
Others have slipped to oblivion
Odds are against recovery
The foot unable to find hold
Tears roll down the cheeks
Despair enters the soul
Here I stand
To one side hope
The other depression....
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Copyright © May 2010 Thomas H. Smihula
This Poem was Critiqued By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2010-06-02 08:30:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This is impressive. I can feel your inertia and fear
at facing either alternative. Yet you can still see
some hope. Needless to say, I am a fan of sparse
wording as you have done with success here
Thanks for submitting this
KenP
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-06-01 17:49:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Thomas,
I feel both going up or coming down, what really does it matter on the journey?
Everything of the unknown can beat you with fear. But onc you take that fear and eat
it and consume it, it's part of who we are. High low/up down. I say ride that
stallion to the finish and get on with winning the race.
A winner is the one that continually works at conquering fear.
Each of us in our own private way.
Ride hard my good man.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe P. OGrady On Date: 2010-05-31 10:30:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Powerful imagery. Terrific sustain metaphor. At first I expected heaven and hell but then the ending made the whole thing make sense - a battle to avoid slipping into depression by choosing to climb toward hope. Well done!
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-05-30 14:01:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Touching free verse, and captures the true intensity of emotions any one can have in life. We do give our best, to overcome the pits of life, and quietly ease ourselves through painful moments - yet I believe you have instilled hope in this poem. Hope is there if we break out of the "blues", and look for a distraction of sorts, which ever pleases us to help us through to another day.
Great write in my opionion - every one of us can learn from this Thomas -
blessings,
Deni
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