This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-07-04 01:12:04 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
Love To The Last Night Colorful seasons change
elements in light rearranged
Cords ply and pull in deaf days of hate
midst the "Holy" chase behind
ahead to something great
Yet great can wear a different look
in every man’s chapter of his book
Sole steps through seasons that change
solid ground
soiled mounds
shifting gates
end with lone last
breaths of fate
While the books full of love, joy, and peace
are less too late
to alter
|
|
Copyright © July 2010 DeniMari Z.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-08-02 15:57:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMari,
I like this. It can fill many thoughtful places.
it is one to ponder.
my favorite stanza...
Cords ply and pull in deaf days of hate
midst the "Holy" chase behind
ahead to something great
Although they all ring good.
I'm very impressed
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2010-07-17 00:22:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Deni,
What I've always liked about your poetry is the ease with which you take 'life' and philosophise about it through your poems making otherwise deep and dark apects easily accessible and discernable. You do this consistently. This poem, in my opinion, is also a leap forward for here, you seem to have made it so much more compact and improved on the flow too. When a piece becomes too telly and moves on and on it loses a lot of its punch but this is concise and endearing. I like the internal rhyme employed and while I definitely wont recommend obvious rhymes such as book/look...hate/great..I dont think its as prominent here because the reader keeps moving easily from one line to the other. I really liked this and commend you for taking it a level up !!
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-07-15 14:22:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
You know DeniMari, I spent considerable time in thought over this piece.
The metaphor of seasons and the phases of love seem to strike each other in melding manner. So entwined that to separate one was to destroy the other. Very difficult to do.
The at times I think I am seeing to much in this piece and really it is about living and seasons, and the transpiring of time.
Then the key words attach me "chase" as in courting or so to speak, "man's chapter", "soiled mounds", and then the loss of "lone last" where the "last night" is pictured.
I decided that whateve your intent was; the written romance remains unchanged no matter the reading, but the story of romance, or seasons, or anyother non static image is written a million times- until somebody, once again writes it into a book.
I think I know them all.
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-07-09 15:00:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Hi Deni,
Another fabulous poem. I like the subtle rhyme and good word selection. When I read "Sole steps" I wondered if you meant 'soul' but then when I read it again I think you are referring the sole of a shoe..very clever. A well written and evocative poem.
Besst wishes,
cheyenne
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!