This Poem was Submitted By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-07-21 12:41:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Promises

As night’s moon shadows bow to wind whispers recalling a time kissed by dreams of dance and allure under willow’s boughs to gossamer veils of silken delight becoming bound by passion's pyre the tease of tingles by tongue's flick at nape illicit pleasure’s promises Cloak us in the midnight hours while we twine tasting, touching till morning mist  becomes our skin and we the vapors of dawn.

Copyright © July 2010 Lora Silvey


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-07-28 14:29:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora, a fine piece in your style- gossamer even. It is always a treat when you walk down passions isle. The descriptors in this piece definitely provide a glimpse into the soul. “Moon shadows”, there is a metaphor that brings alive a moment, where the moonlight creates its own “dream” – and you bring us to “allure under willow’s boughs”. You couldn’t know, but for me willows hold a deep passion of love and lost love. I loved the image. ‘passion’s pyre” is a mixed bag of heat and intensity- and you are the master of telling us enough to whet the “pyre” if you will and leaving the rest to us. “illicit pleasures”, and the undeniable “tongue”, are too much and not nearly enough! This could be a piece about watching fire burn, or a burning that is the fire within. “Twine”, how delicious, and then “tasting, touching” until the “vapors of dawn” If a reader doesn’t want to join the fray, he/she is missing the coals. As I said, a fine piece in your best style.


This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-07-21 20:35:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Beautiful Lora, love & passion, imagery to stage the message - of the one emotion in life, so fullfilling, so changeable and so devastating as well - this leans on the "promise" of love everlasting, and you've done a very nice job of making it stand out. Love this one as well. blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-07-21 14:53:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Lora, This poem sounds like a lover's plea. It is well crafted, sensuous and evocative. You have written it with syllable count of 10/8 and I thought, on first read, that it rhymed. Instead it is a free verse that is lyrical, not always easy to do when writing free verse. "to gossamer veils of silken delight" this is a wonderful line and a delicious thought. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne
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