This Poem was Submitted By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-09-21 18:28:07 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

The Storm

She treads the road rutted and wandering contemplating stones that lie at toes touch Cark and wail rally nested hiding fowl    from fields as flap’s rising flutters on breeze Her steps no longer come steady and sure though determined one after another Wind rustles neglected stalks and wheat’s chaff  as they grow sweeping wild through broken rail   She eyes hands crookedly clutching basket bone and vein’s teal shade dapple skin’s paper Dusted and dampened foliage scent the air charging electric as sound shudders ground Hues of mauve slate fractured by crackle’s flash testify to life’s oft changing zephyr The storm rolls over to douse old and new carrying on she treads the road rutted 

Copyright © September 2010 Lora Silvey

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-10-06 17:10:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh wow Lora. Approaching the scene is the air of familiarity. Even those unfamiliar with the anthem, would leave feeling the familiarity. "lifes oft changing zephyr", one waits for the hope and redemption. I think the realism captured is a rationale analysis- but one must cling to the "carrying on" for whatever hope there is in the familiiarity and the transition. I love stanza 1, line 3, but think there is something wrong with its phrasing. S3 L2 are both beautiful and forbidding. "foliage scenting the air" speaks beautiful of the morning refreshment- and makes me want to inhale deeply. A touching piece Lora- my guess is the storms redeem both the old and the new.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-09-25 17:50:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Lora, I was with you on the walk. I saw the colorful wonderful Mother Earth through your eyes. Skies and field are what we are. Hard going but still keeping on. Even as lightening strikes. Rutted the road from life's travels but what is the recourse? Great imagery......wonderful descriptions. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-09-22 17:29:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Lora, This is an amazing poem and very professional. You captured the scene well and I felt as if I were watching the woman as she trod, a little uncertain but determined. I especially like free verse written in this form, to me it is more poetic than some I see. Excellent job! Best wishes, cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-09-21 22:22:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
God bless you to be back here Lora, missed you. Once again you have knocked the ball out of the ballpark, with a challenging write cut even on the poetic table, by blending verbiage, imagery, emotion and intensity into your verses holding the reader captured by art, flawless art, that I hope to achieve at some point in time. There is nothing to change in this post. She is a patron of Saints among ladies, reflecting on life - sharing her tale with the rest of the world. Beautiful, on my list, blessings, Deni
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to Database Page!