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Witness In one single hour's compressed one whole decade of loss and loss on loss compressed to one essence, a tear that can't be shed, in one, the tears of all. Why do your tears want me to shed them, like the gifts you reject in silence? The stars are finished now, their black holes brand your face with the eyes of dead love. I heard this in the town where eternity's work is to give one command, command that it be heard; heard, be acted upon into humanity. All your lost tears, mine, silent cold and raging, have but one command: Speak. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-10-30 15:24:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mark,
This is a marvelous poem albeit very doleful. Sometimes we never know what makes another tick and it's true we can't cry their tears or fully understand them.
The stars are finished now,
their black holes brand your face
with the eyes of dead love.
I find the above lines to be very poetic and I wish I had thought of them first. The melancholy flavor of this piece is quite pleasing to me. But then I like Poe so dark poetry (and even darker than this) appeals to me and I can relate to this one easily. Well done.
Best wishes,
cheyenne