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Waiting Waiting Waiting Time ticking Tick tick ticking Each moment passing While holding my breath Waiting Waiting Tick tock timing The nightmares roaring The shrill cries of fires Burning souls alive Breaking hearts apart Shattering lives instantly Dying inside Shattered parts scatter To far away places Unseen faces Peer from the dark Corners of hell Deep in a well Of pain, rage, horror and fear They blink away tears Invisible to you Waiting Waiting To see if the words Will come this time To tell you their story Of terror and fright Of fleeing and plight Of watching and waiting Of burning deaths Piercing hearts Bleeding corpses Trapped in boxes Of guilt for sins Committed in innocence Stalking the minds While they’re Slowly dying Piece by piece Dissipating Dissolving Dissociating Far far away Repairable they’re not For pieces that were lost long ago Haunt the memories Of those left peering Those left waiting Waiting Waiting Watching Listening Waiting Waiting As time keeps ticking |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-11-28 01:08:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
A very strong poem Mandie.
Your repetition of "waiting" makes a very strong impact. The overall tone of your poem brings images of war to the mind, of women, children, elder people and soldiers all dying--for what? It raises anger, and a want to lash out at the injustices that war brings--so many caught up in the whims of the keeper of the keys... OK, off my soap box...a very compelling poem written exceptionally well with an excellent choice of verbiage that conveys your message quite well. Lora