This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2010-11-10 23:11:34 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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I dream of a place  Where the water laps  The stinging sores And heals the open wounds I dream of a time  When peace surrounds The shattered mind And opens the tombs I dream of a home Where love embraces The broken heart And soothes the torment I dream of heaven Where the clouds reunite My lonely soul And my long lost children

Copyright © November 2010 Mandie J Overocker

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-12-01 19:11:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93750
Mandie, this is a heartfelt write filled with much emotion. You have a good rhyme scheme and area always careful that your rhymes do not come across as forced. The meter you've use gives this a gentle lilt that might not be noticed for the plaintive voice of this poem...however it is definitely there in its dance down the page. I would add my voice to yours if I could, you echo many of the voices of those who feel as you do. Excellent...Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-11-22 22:35:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Mandie, once again a powerful lament. Dreams; I have spent so much time in such that when I read your words, it reopens those times of need. The cry is a lonely one; and those who contribute to the cure are often obscure and lacking the skills to bring healing. This is a fine piece, and when it is read; there are many here reading- and walking the halls that are spent. Thank you for sharing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-11-15 17:51:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mandie, Such a melancholy poem. The last verse is almost too sad to bear. You write an excellent free verse...something I am still trying to accomplish. The loss of a child must be the ultimate grief. A superb poem. Best wishes, cheyenne
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