This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-02-13 14:59:57 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Bind

       "blue mountain skies         align my eyes         as I look up         from earthen cup . . ." place of escape it’s not too late dreaming of fields unending yields my frozen heart so torn apart longing to remain among grassy plain smoothly flowing streams reflect clouds of cream among giant hills smoky ranges fill my soul with desire ignite passion’s fire sparking life within frozen heart again through fantasy I live imagination gives a way for me to find  an out from real life’s bind in which my frozen heart has need for a kick start as longing to escape again does formulate in hope that I’ll evade depression’s dark tirade

Copyright © February 2011 Mandie J Overocker

Additional Notes:
Imagine if you will that the first four lines are italicized rather than enclosed with quotation marks.

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-02-24 15:29:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Hi Mandi, Depression can be such a dark place to live and I do hope you find your way out of the abyss soon for your own sake. Even though quite dark I do like this piece. You have good word selection that has allowed you to express yourself. A lyrical aa/bb rhyme the gives charm to the lines. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne

This Poem was Critiqued By: David Keesey On Date: 2011-02-14 23:50:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I really like your mind. I only want to hear and feel more of it than 4 or 5 syllables can convey. While Dr Seuss was able to do so much with so little (he did have a story to tell) you try to get across a feeling or emotion across. While I want that feeling and emotion, I feel cheated in that I don't get it by such short verse. I know you have it in you to paint a scene that can make me laugh or weep. Can we have that? Kindest Regards David
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