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"blue mountain skies align my eyes as I look up from earthen cup . . ." place of escape itâ€™s not too late dreaming of fields unending yields my frozen heart so torn apart longing to remain among grassy plain smoothly flowing streams reflect clouds of cream among giant hills smoky ranges fill my soul with desire ignite passionâ€™s fire sparking life within frozen heart again through fantasy I live imagination gives a way for me to find an out from real lifeâ€™s bind in which my frozen heart has need for a kick start as longing to escape again does formulate in hope that Iâ€™ll evade depressionâ€™s dark tirade
Imagine if you will that the first four lines are italicized rather than enclosed with quotation marks.
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-02-24 15:29:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Hi Mandi, Depression can be such a dark place to live and I do hope you find your way out of the abyss soon for your own sake. Even though quite dark I do like this piece. You have good word selection that has allowed you to express yourself. A lyrical aa/bb rhyme the gives charm to the lines. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne
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