This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-02-14 18:06:09 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Conundrum Contract

A contract’s all I need to give                  Find peace within his arms again So he and I may safely live                      For love’s embrace should always win If only I would not divide                       But it’s his love inside they fear Amidst my mind parts do collide                  That all they know and hold so dear Somehow we must find us a way                    Love will smother and suffocate Agree that him we will not slay                  Our existence. Is it just fate How do you gather opposed selves                 To remain divided alone Some fixed on love others on hell                And not together in our home? When terror rules from distant past Parts trapped in and holding fast                No! I will fight for peace to reign Know nothing more than allegiance                That those inside release their pain To lies once told with convenience               To welcome in love’s soothing balm Of keeping those who sought to bind              And know what it’s like to feel calm Us to their ways becoming blind                  Despite the pull to still return Invisible to those who see                       To the only way that they’ve learned Chaos unfolding within me                        Living a world turned upside down As parts aligned with light and truth            And inside out grin becomes frown Challenge those stuck back in their youth        That disapproves of lonely choice                                                  Finally spoke out and used our voice If we could just prognosticate                   This my solemn promise to you That each will agree to relate                   To fight against the whole night through And promise not to harm or hurt                  Continue to show dark parts the way Working together to convert                      Into the light of truth’s new day Fear welled deep within our soul’s heart         Where love is safe and never lies To hope and desire for each part                 No matter if dark crying eyes Will live in truth and seek the light            Or rage and anger they possess Push back the night, let go the fight            A smile’s a smile that won’t regress

Copyright © February 2011 Mandie J Overocker

This Poem was Critiqued By: David Keesey On Date: 2011-02-15 00:18:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I read this and thought the Wives of Edmund Spencer...but I know that they are not on the History Channel or VH1...So it must be something else, askew... I think you need to solidify a sentence or thought that you describe. There are too numerous ones that fall short or are not wholly painted within a sentence. If you are going to use punctuation in piecemeal, use it throughout. Need a semi colon: Some fixed on love; others on hell Need a semi colon: To welcome; in love’s soothing balm I like this. It needs more work and I would love to either live it or read it. Touché! Kindest Regards David (p.s. I may have lived it already.)

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