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A Seed is Just A Seed Planted in Time Jaded fires where envy, jealousy and regrets faded out on bad bets. Yet somehow a piece will linger that leaves last to forget. Youthful candy apple red then - pressed in a book lost along wild woods the sweetness left, When the woodsman vanished. No magical feat to disappear. Walk out your own back door to never return or care about the sores that a child cried over vivid lies and I ran out of alibis. Animals have more instinct to care for their own. While some leave wreckage of excuses left unknown. A sperm donor can do more as they sign the dotted line. What was so important that you never had the time? |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-03-20 11:43:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Deni, this is one of those poems that a readers follows, absorbs, and just as the book is about to be closed on meaning and circumstance; the last line sends us back to find another meaning.
I begin with “a piece will linger that leaves the last to forget.†I find the stand alone to be tempting, regardless of “jealousy†and “regretâ€. It seems time has not been kind to the lover, the traveler.
We see the “youthful†and “pressed into a bookâ€, the key to being in love. Then the “woodsman vanished.†The hope with him. I considered this with “walk out your own back door†to be an abandoned mother and child, but now it seems it is the future child unconcieved.
Finally, with the conception is the myriad of answers left in a life that had no time for a child; and now desires one.
Then your last line. Never halting, it is similar to the question to those who destroy their children.
Your last stanza makes the piece extraordinary.