This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2011-03-13 17:25:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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sheep's tale swiftly time shifts to forward
beneath warring clouds of today
poor and lost little sheep huddle
praying troubles will fall away
rather than show strength and action
ill advised eyes slumber as sheep
doped, duped, their possibility ends
but those that know, they cannot sleep
with wringing hands, tears open flow
baaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaaa sheep to the pasture go
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Copyright © March 2011 Dellena Rovito
This Poem was Critiqued By: David Keesey On Date: 2011-03-22 04:04:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Almost like a nursery rhyme, but I do not sleep as I write this. Perhaps if it were a bit more like a nursery rhyme I may be going, but I can not sleep. The "wringing hands" bring to mind Lady Macbeth but I know not if that is intended. If "tears open flow" are they really sheep? It's a poignant piece but I wonder if the nursery rhyme to completion would be more fitting? I find myself neither sheep nor those that know.
Kindest regards.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-03-17 15:13:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Dellena, the metaphor; I am assuming it is a political/sociological piece, is oft repeated in literature, and each time meets with the same images.
I think the other one is a apropos, of lemmings- but when you ended yours with the voice of the sheep, it added a substance to the entire piece.
Oddly, I have just finished reading Archibald MacLeish's poem :The Sheep in the Ruinsâ€, that shares an intuitive, if not presumptive, analysis of the judges predisposition to making society by rewriting the constitutional images we have lived by.
I always find something worth the watching; particularly when there is a derivation of society or recriminations concerning such.
Yes, agree or not; too many will not fight for what they believe in.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-03-14 09:13:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
I like the use of all small letters, to enhance how we are being made to feel small in a changing world where we feel like there is nothing we can do but to pray.
Simplistic style lends to a great message of humanity and the doubts we carry but yes things shift,
as you have pointed out so well.
Doped, duped - wondering daily.
Profound thoughts and spiritual quality noted.
Good poem Dellena,
blessings,
Deni
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