This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-03-28 18:16:11 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

Shattered Soul Snows

it snowed today big fluffy flakes crystallized tears from my soul’s heartache shattered inside to separate intense emotions from the core each crystal flake floated down from my frozen heart once more nothing overcomes the fear of looking at what’s buried deep another day without eating another night without sleep as parts inside begin to awake acting out isolated view harming those that I hold dear whilst leaving me without a clue “This isn’t me!” I want to scream but somehow I must understand that from within each part is me who takes control of my hand my heart has broken as I’ve learned deep within it is plausible for me to engage in the very thing that I thought impossible so as I wait to find that place where we can safely explore I watch the snow quietly fall from my shattered soul once more

Copyright © March 2011 Mandie J Overocker

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2011-04-03 14:42:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mandie, As low as we go, is as high as we rise. So that can explain depth. Safety be damned, there is none. You are doing well. Kudos Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-04-02 13:03:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
I think, sometime soon I will repost an older piece about inspiration and desperation. I want to reach out into you and grasp that sensitivity, the impetus- that is driving you to write. Your first stanza of snow and crystallized tears a an amazing analogy. It makes your last line of the stanza “soul’s heartache” either reinforced or upstaged- either way the stanza sets the stage for your entire piece. My love of winter screams at me with this piece, of “frozen heart” and “crystal flake”. We are torn with the writer, and yet in the macabre view of looking out the window, onto a stark, long tempered, winter- the same vision that makes us wish for spring, but understand the ice and cold- makes us watch as you share that scene with us. Seeing the writer needing sleep, and fearing her own humanity within, endears us to her. She is not near as alone as it seems. I recall in sci-fi, the races that share a common knowledge and requiem, by the very fact that they meld, and cannot prevent such- with us humans we all think what we hide is original, when what we hide has been hidden by others, many many times. As you roll over sleepless, there is the comfort of numbers. The bifurcation “this isn’t me”, is tangible. To “engage in the very thing that I though impossible”, obviously despised, is human. And you leave us with the snow, quietly falling, after the tumult of passion. There is no place “we can safely explore”. Safety loves only itself. We must see ourselves the same way. A passionate, powerful piece.
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to Database Page!