This Poem was Submitted By: David Keesey On Date: 2011-04-09 11:05:27 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Pushed Beyond Despair I was pushed beyond despair
Just the other day.
I reached to pull out all my hair;
Instead I laughed, laughed, laughed to tears;
Exploded – common sense lay in disarray
As I danced upon the bones of your responsibilities.
Laugh – turn – laugh – turn.
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Copyright © April 2011 David Keesey
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-05-01 17:21:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
Sort of short and to the point - Not sure if this is satire, or just an vent - of a lapse of
clarity, then a come back to earth - with knowing there is nothing in life that should make one get
to the area in the message you've written about.
Life, complex - nice poem, it's always best to turn.
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-04-25 10:27:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
David, in entering the piece, investing int the “laughter†I spent a considerable time recalling, personalizing those moment where the contract with levity was integral to the context of difficulties.
At first I read this as a general piece, of personal struggle, and then wondered who the “your†was in “your responsibilitiesâ€. The bones, or freedom from the struggle-
I recalled many times when laughter out gained the complexity of harder moments. I found your piece thought provoking.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2011-04-15 15:08:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello David. This is an interesting twist for me today! What can I say? Just laugh and turn...and laugh again. Its whimsical and fun. I love the picture of dancing on the bones of responsibility!
I will say that your title leaves me ready to sit back; ready to feel what darkness must be coming. And it starts slowing too so that flows well. And then, the turn, the laughter as you explode! I love it. A great, fun read. Thanks!
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