This Poem was Submitted By: Pat Eaklor On Date: 2011-05-19 13:26:39 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Sharing He looks down at me in our togetherness,
His eyes so full of joy it takes my breath away.
Beaming with the delight of shared secrets,
He drops beside me, spent.
He always sleeps before I do, jumping from one bliss
Into the other.
He makes little kitten purrs against my ear as he holds me
gently to him.
I feel cherished; I am content; I have no need left.
I am wrapped in the silk of him.
I sleep. |
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Copyright © May 2011 Pat Eaklor
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-06-01 23:24:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Beautiful - the love is the message in this write as it complete a couple truly comfortable
with their relationship. It's concise, and short complete lines are noted without weeding
through words to find the meaning instilled in this poem.
So now I feel a bit jealous (smile)but know and understand from having these moments
that are rare treasures placed in our lives that are pure trust, respect, love and
a security through days and nights.
Nicely done,
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-05-27 08:52:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Pat, what a splendid, sensitive look at "togetherness".
I wouldn’t' change a word. There is enough to keep a level of desired innocence and still let the reader into the moment.
There is a voyeur part of me that wonders if there are other, less cryptic writings to this story, but at the same time there is a level of marvel at how well passion and endearment are intwined in this piece.
A very enjoyable read.
This Poem was Critiqued By: David Keesey On Date: 2011-05-20 15:40:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Poignant piece. Very well done, especially "shared secrets" for coitus... I belive it is rare to write of being well spent. Kudos.
Kind regards
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-05-19 14:34:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Pat,
This is a sensual poem with a hint of the erotic. It is well penned with grace and not smut as some erotic poems are. Your word selection is exceptional, the flow is easy and without a flaw. I have tried to pick a favorite line or phrase but find I would have to copy the entire poem to catch them all. Don't change a word. Well done.
Best wishes,
cheyenne
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