This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-06-25 09:12:11 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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A Dream Of You Six or seven
long sensual
kisses turned
my spirit around
to wishes.
Sent me up
on a plane
flying
to land
on an enchanted lane.
I can see
varieties
of wondrous shapes
to pick
or choose for me.
Crescent moons
rounded stars
roses placed in
simple jars.
Powdered specks
out in the dark
tuck them in
my happy heart.
Cast my eyes
down below
and in one
instant feel
this glow.
His most tender love
envelops me above I am
in ecstasy. |
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Copyright © June 2011 DeniMari Z.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2011-07-03 14:17:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Deni,
Nothing is higher felt than love's embrace.
Be him here or there, can be experienced.
Sex is of the mind they say.
Missing him.........
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2011-06-30 10:15:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Clean, simple--home spun type poem that has that sparkle of someone sitting on cloud nine. The love and happiness that exudes from your well placed words is contagious, this so uplifting. Even though a few places your lines sound a bit contrived this poem is so fresh and unincumbered that is truly a pleasure to read. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-06-26 20:26:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Deni, there are not enough uplifting, love infused verses to suit me. First of all, thank you for the pleasure.
I don’t want to dissect the piece away for the vision of it. You let us watch, the (more than one) sensual kisses. A wonderful turn, for the writers spirit and ours.
The cloud images, that is the soaring spirit of scents, moon, and the happy heart reveal much of the soul of the writer. I found myself straining to see if the eyes are open or closed.
“Envelopesâ€, a very powerful word that still allows the predisposition of the reader while focusing on, or voyeur style, looking to the scene of love.
Your last stanza is wonderful as your initial kisses. I am excited to have read this.
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