This Poem was Submitted By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2011-06-30 10:12:23 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Ripples of Time Baby’s dancing on mist thinking
its clouds rising up to heaven
He brings the night of endless sleep
within his warm and dark embrace
as their souls are burning with screams
of paradise lost before it was found
In shudder’s whisper two breaths brush past
as pale moonlight lays scattering
across a stairway where stars fail
to twinkle and beams no longer shine
Baby is a rose scented petal
drifting in scattered sun rays
gently lifted on Springs
Air de temps’ Passion
He is a white blistered pale sky
bleeding into night’s darkness
They hear the melodious strains
of the haunt that names their spirits
in separation
Sometimes one is so hard to do
Sometimes—alone is all there is
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Copyright © June 2011 Lora Silvey
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2011-07-03 14:14:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora,
Lovely images, especially..........
Baby is a rose scented petal
drifting in scattered sun rays
gently lifted on Springs
Air de temps’ Passion
Alone we always are even with another.
You have a way with words. good job,
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-07-02 18:39:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Excellent piece Lora that leans towards the spiritual side with a tender meaning giving
it the extra edge to make it a whole poem that embraces the reader and leaves a mystical
feeling about it with them.
You have the best talent with imagery - I'm in awe - of how you choose your words and
pin them exactly where they should be.
Very beautiful and well worth reading more than once.
Kudos, on my list for June.
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-07-01 14:11:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora, it is a compelling title “Ripples in Timeâ€. In my other writings I actuall discuss such on a technical level- so this title intrigued me.
Your piece, of the specters (internal and external) that both create the passion and cause the loneliness is as close to an actual living, breathing dichotomy as an incident can be. It was compelling. From beginning to ending, each step was like the separated breaths; trying to grasp and contain while allowing for the free expulsion of the passion.
“Sometimes, Alone is all there is†ends this piece with the writer longing for the previous experience, nevertheless.
A tantalizing, and on some levels, heartbreaking piece.
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-06-30 17:15:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Hi Lora,
Wow...this is a most impressive poem. Your words are lovely, expressive and evocative to say the least. I do believe it is the best poem I have read in a long time. The theme is creative and the manner in which you weave this story is fabulous. I have tried to pick a favorite line but one melds into the other making it impossible for me to chose one over the other. You are a gifted poet who should never stop posting your work for all to see. Bravo and a standing ovation.
Best wishes,
cheyenne
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