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God Innately We know God whether we know it or not The spring from which consciousness bubbles forth Infused by the breathe whose taste gives the plot Imbedded invisibility morphed Into the heart of decisions concern Toward or away from the point of return Contemplations grasp leading us to learn A destination sparks, fizzles or burns Within the atmosphere cultivated In time, where space, by direction, through choice Individuals call elevated To grow and to earn humanities voice Every unfolding tongue rolls out its own Discovery then through action its shown |
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-07-23 18:01:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi James, This is a lovely poem. At first I thought it was a sonnet but closer inspection reveals some of the lines have the stress on the wrong syllable. With exception of one line you are consistent with 10 syllables per line and the couplete is good, as well. You have used some multi-syllable words which isn't always easy to do and keep the count true. Your words are descriptive, the rhyme is musical and the flow is even. Well done
Best wishes,
cheyenne