This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-07-08 12:32:09 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Terror streams all around, through Every pore it makes  Roaring sounds. Screams and cries Rip through my ears Inside my head as they tell their Fears of being found and killed In vain to be brought to life again. Every day is a nightmare that we Dare to survive just to know we're alive.

Copyright © July 2011 Mandie J Overocker

This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2011-07-21 08:39:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
what a dark piece this is. i guess in this day and age there are plenty of things to be terrified by. some people think it's all about perspective--you choose how the world you live in by the things you let yourself see--that there is plenty of beauty and kindness in the world if you only choose to focus on it. that if all you let yourself see is the bad and the terrible, you create that kind of world for yourself. i believe that, but i also believe that only a fool refuses to look beyond the candy-coated sugary world to the cavity-ridden world beneath. how else can you truly appreciate the sunshine having never known the dark? i see this poem as a snapshot of moment in time--a terrible moment--where the darkness has overwhelmed and enveloped the light, where hope hangs by a thread...nice work...C

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-07-15 23:28:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Mandie, There is plenty of intensity in this write-and it can be better. I hesitated with the structure, which is my downfall with writing. I'd break it up - and make it more concise in form. I think it will enhance this poem - and bring the best of it out. You are on a roll - and I'm so happy to see you writing again. blessings always Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-07-11 00:38:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Mandie, This is a gut wrenching poem and it is difficult to know what inspired it. It had to be something horrific to write such powerful and compelling poem. Your word choices are evocative and you have an even flow. The theme is outstanding and somewhat disturbing. I like the notion that every pore makes roaring sounds and that they rip through the ears...very creative. An excellent poem and I enjoyed reading more than once. Best wishes, cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-07-09 15:21:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Mandie, I am not sure how I can respond or critique a piece such as this. The effectiveness of the verse? Or, maybe the well done construction? Or, just a view that when one with vertigo looks over the edge from a high pinnacle, that the impact is so difficult to assimilate that even the intellect that confirms safety, will be disregarded by the instinct to never look down from such heights again. There is little doubt that the compassion it draws will be as real as the terror that is exposed, and this is a terrifying piece. In a real sense, those dealing with claustrophobia, or reasoned and unreasoned fears, will identify with portions of this piece. Hell, even those men and women entering a midlife crisis will find portions to cling to. For me, aside from all the images it projects; heroes are something only the individual can identify. For one a hero, for another a heal. I wish for you a hero. You need to find the match for your set.
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