This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-07-08 13:05:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Passion

In silken silence bound in purple lace are lovers rapt in their embrace they reach the panes of sky in every light and seek to soar with sparrow’s flight They kiss beneath the moon and whisper dreams in silent beams of starlit streams entwining hearts in twists of ribboned gold has taught them passion can be bold   They cleave together souls and lips are pressed by angel’s grace their lives are blessed a wisp of breath that seeks to cradle them becomes their love, a precious gem

Copyright © July 2011 cheyenne smyth


This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-07-30 22:24:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
Visuals of color make this piece stand out. Clever to combine colors with emotions and present them in a love poem that leans towards true love as we are suppose to know in life. Once again you are true to your form, style and together pieced words in sync that make this a pleasurable read. Blessings, Deni


This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2011-07-21 08:53:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
hey cheyenne..me again. in addition to alliteration (silken silence--love it), i'm the biggest fan of rhyming, lyrical poetry--something i don't find too much of on this site. your structure is good in this one, and you've stayed true to the rhythm throughout--but i did find the rhythm a bit choppy. you have a perfect 10-8 syllable count, but i read this many times and couldn't find the beat to it. nonetheless, it's a beautiful expression of passion but it seems that love is the true driving force to the words--thus to me, the title is a bit off-target. but your use of language in this one is very nice. i wonder how long it took you to write it? i think if you tried, you could come up with better words than "sparrow's" flight and "silent" beams--these words seem too common for the unique feel of this poem--but i love "lover's rapt" and "cleave together". an enjoyable piece...C
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-07-09 11:21:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Cheyenne, this is a wonderful piece that maintains the propriety of love and caring and yet allows the voyeur his/her tribute. I have always thought that was as important in a passion/romance piece; the onlooker can feel a part of the story. Romance has become quite a lost art, and this piece, from the “purple lace” to the “precious gem” has captured the sensual and the soul. I particularly like the 10/8 stanza’s- it adds a semblance of the finality in every other line, and yet allows for the expansion of the feelings. “starlit streams” is probably my favorite simile, but throughout the piece it is spoken with a tenderness and passion- it is as if you took the “wisps of breath” and spread it throughout. A very fine piece!
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