This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-07-14 17:28:10 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Nightmares assail my dreams like a dance of frenzied fever with movements that hurl me into rhyme’s pit leaving me haggard and raw I feel night zephyrs stroke my mind lifting and flailing in wild abandon pricking my soul with both despair and ecstasy along with floods of memory These very dreams keep my quill most fastidiously and furiously in ink

Copyright © July 2011 cheyenne smyth

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2011-07-29 14:51:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I really like this somewhat dark and forboding poem. It brought to mind the travails of Poe and yes--these late night terrors would give ones quill much to record however you've done this is a most pleasant form with the use of perfectly chosen verbiage to create the perfect images. Well done, most enjoyable. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2011-07-27 16:47:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This blows me away, I'm assailed by the emotions that forced you to write this.
This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2011-07-21 08:28:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
this is a nice piece you have--though i might have chosen "In Ink" for the title myself as ink is dark--much like the nightmares you speak of here. i like your word usage--i'm a sucker for alliteration like "frenzied fever", and your descriptions of being left "haggard and raw" and "hurl me into rhyme's pit" are wonderfully illustrative. i feel that your first and last stanzas carry this poem, but i got lost a bit in the middle and feel that a bit of editing could make this a winning piece for the month. overall, though a nice read. thanks...
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-07-17 11:41:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Cheyenne, let me issue a flat statement. I refuse- as some may require, to separate the spirit, soul and body, forfeiting one for the other, or preferring one over the other. I think is it wrong. Some at times think I am too cerebral, other times, too metaphysical, other times to candidly sensual- I really don’t care at all. I say that to say this; this a marvelous piece, you grab the inner passion, “despair and ecstasy”, you dwell in “dreams”, you deal with “nightmares” and accent the “wild abandon”. The metaphors are daunting, sensual, intellectual- and you use the craft as an experienced couple make love to each other. No wasted effort and the intimacy known to both. I like this piece very much. Maybe, in my demented mind- I like this piece too much. That; is its nature. “Ink”. Indeed.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-07-15 23:19:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
The profound message in this poem is beautiful Cheyenne - chosen words allow the reader to feel the torture of a soul in pain-but healing through written words i.e. Ink -which is a great title - doesn't give away the poem but is announced through each verse you have written. I think all in all you have made this poem your own - yet one suggestion - that stopped the flow for me was into rhymes pit -and I realize you want to bring out - your poetry skills here - with adding rhymes pit and although I understand it I'm not sure others will. Perhaps a note next time. You have my adoration and my blessings on each new poem you write. I'm a Cheyenne fan, blessings, Deni
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