This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2011-07-14 22:19:21 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

The Messiah

                                                      I will tell stories.                                                        They will look at me quizzically,                                                       and their grandmother will gaze away.                                                        The fat one will say, through his painted mouth                                                             of ice cream,                                                       â€œthey are all lies.” They will be happy and laugh.                                                       In the corner, the odd one,                                                       lean, full of unperturbed turbulence,                                                        will whisper to himself,                                                        â€œthat means they are true.”                                                       He is the one I wait for.

Copyright © July 2011 Mark Steven Scheffer

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-07-30 22:22:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
Truly unique and wonderfully written poem. The humor injected is appreciated with visuals of the fat man, and his ice cream - as the lean one knows in a calm manner - that all the lies are true. The happy ones represent the need to laugh & enjoy, and I too would wait for the lean one. He knows, without a doubt the most important lesson in life - Fantastic, Blessings, Deni

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-07-27 21:08:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
He is the one indeed. With regard to "messiah" I have little to go on that hasn't already been said. As for prophets; the genesis of thier devotion is seldom revealed in scripture- simply the desire later in life to follow (sometimes with great hesitancy) I assume the "fat one" is a metaphor for someone comfortable in this setting, this life, to the point that god no longer is significant. If not- the ice cream and symbolism would be lacking. I also assume the "lean" personage is a metaphor for somebody who sacrifices this life for the next (willingly or not) and with that lifetime fast if you will, is more attuned to truth. It has nothing to do with anything but I just made myself listen to a complete Merle Haggard anthology- must have been a hundred and fifty songs. I think, by proxy, that would qualify me to tell the difference. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece although I hope what comes from my lips (being a grandfather) will cause the fat one to put down the ice cream and the lean one to eat the turkey leg. There is time enough for fasting when he's... oh wait- you are right; he has already gone.
This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2011-07-24 07:21:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
possibly a jab at religion or at heathens? chances are pretty good i'm wrong on both counts (as i seem to remember your poems were always a bit more complex), but i can see this one being either one. the first stanza seems to hint at the doubters--those people who are quite content to criticize religious beliefs (perhaps to avoid the self-doubt and inner conflict a believer battles in the knowledge of they live a sinful life) and ridicule them as lies so they may go on their merry way. the second stanza, you seem to present the believer in a kind of negative light "the odd one" "full of...turbulence" which could mean he is crazy or it only seems that way because he's the only one with the program. i can see this poem being the inner thoughts of Jesus (except that there was no ice cream then), or a wacko cult leader. very nice to say the least and a real thought-provoker. thanks... C
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!