This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2011-08-02 02:51:34 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Spaces

... For Stephanie Smith Each space that links one moment to the next is full. Look down: those petals that I spread before your feet that aren’t now there, your bed whose hollows show where I was once relaxed— these gaps are everywhere. In everything absences are a superstructure’s roots: as sacred, empty air adorns two notes, it is that note no human voice can sing that most can beautify. Our acts of love by being there then, by being here now, are pillars: though they may only be few, they create our temple, and should not move: like sunrise and like sunset, they’re the stays that beautify the chamber of our days.

Copyright © August 2011 Mark Andrew Hislop


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-09-03 22:24:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Mark, a beautiful, tempting piece. YOu don't shy away from complex words, and yet keep a simplicity to the entire poem. "beautifu the chamber of our days" how ornate an ending to an ornate and touching piece. It is clear in the reading that the ability to hear the wonderful melody, is superceded by the presentation of the movement. Maybe love should always be like this. I know it was a fine place to spend some of my time.


This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-09-01 00:17:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Truly remarkable poem Mark. I simply read and enjoyed each part of this poem, to the point where I considered it to be the art of someone who knows how to place each word - with each emotion - to take a reader from the now somewhere else and entertain with poignant words, something that needs to be elsewhere than just here at TPL. Stephanie should be proud, very proud of this poem. It is strikingly beautiful from beginning to end. blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2011-08-19 16:03:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Mark this is an excellent way of showing your feelings, it has been almost two years to the day since I last critiqued a poem and it happen to be yours. You have not changed your delivery and that is a good thing since you write so very well. Thanks for sharing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2011-08-09 19:13:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
MAH, I guess the drought ended for us in the same rain. Well, not quite the same rain, but . . . water coming down at the same time. Maybe the lass can wake up your muse. I was going to say, when I learned of your new circumstance, that it's odd: when that happened to me in the past, sparks were flying from my pen. Here's to you, your new love, and your inspiration! I'd say you found it. There's maybe 10 poets, living and dead, that I can not only tolerate, but revel in. You are one of them. Most of the others are somebodies, so . . . maybe my judgment's not too bad. :) MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-08-04 00:08:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Mark, This a beautiful sonnet. I think love poems are so difficult to write as so many have been written before. Perhaps, Shakespeare and Browning ruined it for the rest. However, I find this one to be fresh, creative and compelling. I think Willy and Elizabeth would approve of this one. Your word choices are superb and the flow is like liquid falling down the page. I have failed at picking a favorite line or phrase as I like them all. I hope to read more of your work. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne
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